Lily Evans and the Marauders
by chescaannie
Summary: Lily Evans had hated the marauders for years, but after the worst summer that she had ever had, something seems to change and she realises that they may not be as bad as she first thought. (Rated T just in case)
1. Chapter 1

It had been no secret that James Potter had had a crush on Lily Evans for years, and it was no secret that Lily Evans had hated him for almost as long. But during her sixth year, something changed. It happened slowly, of course, and for a long time she didn't realise it was happening.

At the start of the year, Lily had been made prefect along with Remus Lupin, who just so happened to be one of James Potter's best friends. Lily had always liked Remus who worked hard and seemed to be the sanest out of the group, there were times when Lily didn't really understand why he was friends with them as she watched him attempt to do his homework in the common room surrounded by Sirius Black, James, and Peter Pettigrew who were all trying to stop him from managing this.

And yet, when she sat in the prefect carriage on the way to Hogwarts in September, she saw Remus alone for the first time. She saw how miserable he looked at not being allowed to see his friends and when they were sent off to patrol the train, they both walked towards easily the noisiest carriage on the train and she saw how his face lit up when he saw them and she found herself smiling and realising that they couldn't be that bad. In fact, she encouraged Remus into the compartment to spend time with the people who relaxed him.

"Are you sitting with us Evans?" Potter asked, his hair as untidy as always. She rolled her eyes and sat on the empty seat nearest the door, but secretly she was happy to be there.

"Well, I best keep an eye on the lot of you, as a prefect." She mumbled, keeping her secret smile beneath a slight scowl.

Lily watched the boys as they joked and carried on and talked about their summer holidays. She learned that Potter had allowed Sirius to live with him, away from the notoriously magical puritans of the Black family. He was the only Gryffindor from his family and clearly had very different values as he was never cruel to Lily or any of the other muggle born students at Hogwarts, well at least no more than he was to everyone else.

Reluctantly, as they neared Hogwarts, Lily had to remind Remus that they had to head back.

"Remus, we have to head back now, we weren't supposed to spend this long in one place and we need to get back to the prefect carriage." She stood and opened compartment door and saw Remus stand and wave to his friends.

They walked in silence most of the way back until she saw her ex-best friend stood in the corridor his hair was black and he looked hurt as she walked towads him and immediately struck up a conversation with Remus.

"So, Remus, how was your summer?" She asked but before he could answer, Severus interrupted.

"Lily. I see they make mud-bloods prefects now." He said, she flinched at the insult but she had grown accustomed to it over the past year as Snape had decided to comment on her blood status pretty much every time they spoke, hence their falling out last year. The two of them hadn't spoken since despite his letters over the summer. She wasn't about to break her vow of silence now and so ignored him, but Remus had made no such promise.

"Yep, because Professor Dumbledore knows that being a decent person has nothing to do with your blood status or who your parents are. I see you didn't make the cut." Remus took Lily's arm and guided her forwards as she was stunned, no one had stuck up for her like that before as she had been tormented by so many people about her blood status as the Dark Lord had grown in power and put his ideas in other people's heads.

"Thanks." She said, unsure of what else to say.

"It's no problem, there's a reason that we don't like him, and that's because we like you." Remus told her.

They walked back to their carriage in silence and once the train stopped, they got off together and helped guide the first-year students towards Hagrid, the groundskeeper who would take them to Hogwarts across the lake. After, there were only two carriages left to take them to the school each would take only six students and one way already half full. As the majority piled into to empty carriage, Remus dragged Lily towards the other which just so happened to have three of the marauders inside.

"Hello again Evans." James commented waggling his eyebrows as she clambered inside. James had always had a kind of confidence that meant he never felt the need to keep his feelings for her secret. He made it so obvious, there was a large part of Lily who was fairly sure he was just teasing her.

"Good evening." She replied as she sat in the only available seat which happened to be next to James as Sirius had decided he needed two seats, forcing Remus to perch on the end of the bench so that Lily could have a full seat. On James' other side sat Peter who was a quiet boy with mousey brown hair.

"So how was your summer Lily?" Sirius asked.

Lily thought back to her summer which had been as awful as it could have possibly been. Her sister had got herself a boyfriend during the school year and had now decided that she hated Lily even more because she was a 'freak' and therefore unfit to meet him. Both her parents had met Vernon but seemed unimpressed by him. Not that that had stopped Petunia spending every day of the holiday with him, despite Lily's almost constant requests to do something together as she hadn't seen her sister for months. Then there was Severus who had been sending letters apologising for his behaviour as he tried to 'fit in with his friends' and begging for her forgiveness. Lily had not replied, deciding that it was no excuse and judging by his behaviour on the train, he hadn't changed and was therefore unworthy of forgiveness. Lily decided not to bore the boys with this quite private information instead she shrugged and said "Let's just say I'm glad to be back."

Before they knew it, Lily and the Marauders were walking up the familiar stone steps up to the Great Hall ready for the feast. As the last to arrive, there were very few seats left and so she ended up sitting with the marauders again for the feast. Silence fell over each of the four long tables as Professor McGonagall entered with the trail of first years behind her, there seemed to be a good number this year, more than there had been as about sixty students walked in. McGonagall placed the old sorting hat on the stool and it began to sing a song that seemed to be about unity. Lily struggled to concentrate on the hat's words as her eyes kept being brought back to the smiling boy with messy dark hair and glasses that sat in front of her. In fact, she only managed to pick out a couple of lines like _They built this together and so we should stay_ which was the first like and then was brought back to reality by the last line _And so my song shall end but we shall stay together._

There was a round of applause as McGonagall took her roll of parchment from her pocket and began calling the first years forward to be sorted. Each time someone was sorted there was a roar of applause from their prospective house and the Gryffindors seemed to cheer the loudest as they stood up enthusiastically to welcome their new team member. Each time someone was sorted into Slytherin, Lily found herself looking at Severus who was watching her in return. She still cared for him, they had been friends before she even realised she was a witch and that wasn't something that just disappeared overnight, in fact she was fairly sure that she would be friends with him again if he could just remove himself from the group of boys he was friends with that she was fairly sure would become death eaters, He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named's followers. Until then, she couldn't bring herself to do it as she tired of the insults he threw at her and she was fed up of everyone being cross with her for being upset about it and yet still being friends. Their friendship was over, possibly forever, the ball was in his court and there was nothing else she could do.

As the last student, Andrew Zane, was placed in Hufflepuff and sat down at the table with the yellow banner and black badger, countless plates of food appeared on the table and the room erupted into conversations at a deafening level. Lily scanned the table and found her friends from last year whom she shared a dormitory with. Abigail, Helana, Winnie, and Glinda. They were all sat together and hadn't seemed to notice Lily's absence. They were probably still friends, but Lily hadn't sent any letters to them, they hadn't to her either, and she hadn't gone to them on the train. Of course Lily understood, and to be honest she had secretly enjoyed her time with the marauders. There was no judgement about her blood, or her hair, or anything. The boys simply enjoyed having fun, it was as simple as that.

As the feast drew to a close and the Gryffindors marched up the stairs towards the dormitory (whose new password was Draconis), Lily walked alone and sat alone next to the window. She daydreamed and thought about what was going on in the wider Wizarding world. There had been countless reports almost daily about people being tortured, controlled, killed, or worst. Lily knew that she was safe at Hogwarts but she feared leaving at the end of next year as there was no promise of even a job for a muggle-born like her. If Voldemort came to power, then there was a high chance that she would be killed or exiled from the Wizarding world…if she was lucky.

Lily was pulled from her thoughts as four faces appeared in front of her. Sirius, Remus, Peter, and James. She gasped at the surprise but then smiled. Sirius and James sat on the couch opposite her and Remus and Peter perched themselves on the window seat.

"We thought you looked lonely so we thought we'd come and join you." Peter told her and she smiled again. Why had she hated these boys for so long when they were such nice people and they actually seemed to like her?

"What'cha reading Remus?" Lily asked Remus who had his nose in a book. He held up the cover but didn't pull his eyes from the page except to write something down on his parchment.

"He forgot to do his homework for Slughorn, so he's trying to write two feet on 'love potions and their antidotes' by first thing tomorrow. Knowing him he won't sleep tonight until it's done so there'll be a light on in the dormitory until Merlin knows when." James explained.

"Yeah, that was a tricky one, I spent quite a while on that myself. At least it's a full moon tomorrow night so you won't need too much light." Lily said, trying to sympathise but it just seemed to worry him more. Now it felt awkward as each of the boys attempted not to catch her eye. "Well, I'm tired. I think I'll just go up to bed." Lily said softly as she stood, not wanting to do anything to make this even more awkward with the people that she kind of wanted to become her main friends.

"Lily, wait." James caught up with her. He saw the slight tears that were in her eyes. "Have breakfast with us tomorrow?" He asked with both hands on her shoulders. She nodded and he smiled. He embraced her slightly and whispered good night.

As Lily tried to fall asleep that night, her thoughts kept returning to James as she realised just how wrong she had been about him and Sirius. Last year, they were the people that she dreaded seeing in the morning, and now, she was actually slightly excited at the prospect of having breakfast with them in the morning. For the first time in a long time, she fell asleep with a grin on her face.

 **Hello, thank you for reading the first chapter of my first Harry Potter fic. I hope you enjoyed it and I hope to see you for the next chapter which I will probably have up quite soon as I am enjoying writing this fic a lot. Thank you for reading and please review – Chescaannie x**


	2. Chapter 2

By the time Lily woke the next morning, she was alone. The girls in her dormitory had left almost an hour ago, leaving Lily to sleep in. In fact, she slept until quarter to nine and was only awakened by the tapping of an owl on her window. The sunlight was already streaming in through the small window and after Lily had adjusted she opened it to let in the bird. He held out his leg just long enough for Lily to untie the note attached before it flew back outside.

 _Lily. Didn't see you a breakfast. Hope you are ok. Our first lesson is transfiguration._

 _-James_

Lily looked at her clock quickly and saw that it was quarter to nine and lessons started in fifteen minutes. Never had she gotten ready so quickly as she did that morning as she dashed through the bathroom, brushing her teeth with impeccable speed and then quickly dressing, grabbing her bag and books and rushing out the door. The common room was silent and with a quick look at her watch she saw that she had five minutes to get down four flights of stairs to Professor McGonagall's transfiguration classroom.

By the time she ran into the classroom, with a minute to spare, everyone had already chosen their seats leaving only one, next to James and behind Remus (who was sat next to Peter and Sirius was on James' other side). Quickly she slipped into the seat at the back of the class, praying that no one would notice her bright red bed head that was the same shade as her face. Thankfully, Professor McGonagall had her back to the class, writing on the blackboard.

"Slept in on the first day, did you Evans?" James said softly so that only Lily could hear. She simply scoffed and turned her attention to the teacher at the front of the class who was explaining what looked to be a difficult spell that seemed to transform balloons into goldfish. Soon, she handed out the balloons and bowls filled with water to put the fish into and told the class to begin.

Lily stared at the balloon, trying to remember the charm but the twittering of the boys around her stopped her from concentrating as well as she had in the past. She looked up to tell them to be quiet and was astounded by the fact that there was already one goldfish in hers and James' bowls and there were to on the table in front of her. Peering round James, she noticed that Sirius too had managed a complete transformation.

"How did-" she started but stopped mid-sentence and turned back to her own work. She didn't need them, she got an E in transfiguration, surely she could manage it.

"You know if you just-" James tried to explain it to her but she cut him off with her death glare and he sat quietly, although she could feel the silent laughs that were coming from the boys, Lily wanted to do it herself. She had never needed anyone before and sixteen was not the age in which she planned to start.

Quarter of an hour before the end of the lesson, Lily managed it and her red balloon turned into a golden fish which she quickly scooped up and put in the water next to James'. Then she turned to him and cleared her throat to get his attention (as he was talking to Sirius).

"Have you decided you need my help after all?" But with one quick look at the fish in the bowl, his face dropped slightly for a second before brightening again. "Well done, he looks great. What do you need?"

"My timetable." Lily told him, putting out her hand and scowling. James laughed at her efforts.

"Tell you what, Evans, I'll make you a deal. You have potions with Slughorn next and then, at lunch, meet me at the tree by the lake and I'll give you the timetable. That way, we both gain something from this." James told her. Lily sighed and then nodded, folding her arms and leaning back in her chair as James turned back to Sirius.

Finally, the bell rang and Lily ran through the corridor towards the main staircase, needing to rush upstairs to grab her copy of 'Advanced Potion Making' from her dorm but stopped when she heard someone shouting her name. As she turned, she saw Remus making his way towards her, looking even more dishevelled than he had done last night.

"Hey. I have potions, too. I'll walk with you." He said, trying to sound bright and cheery, but his face was pale and he looked like he might be sick.

"Ok, I just need to run and get my book. Is that ok?" She asked. At his nod, the pair sped through the crowd, zig zagging through the tiny gaps until it cleared near the common room entrance. "Draconis." Lily said quickly and the Fat Lady opened the door happily as Lily bounded up the stairs. Thankfully, it was the first book she came across as she had been checking her work for the lesson just last night and so it had been on her bedside table. She sped down the stairs again and, without a word to Remus, the two of them pounded down the eight flights of stairs into the dark dungeons.

By the time they got to the classroom, there were only two spaces left but they didn't appear to be too late. The two spaces were next to each other at the front of the class on the side nearest the door but it wasn't until Lily sat down that she realised that she wasn't only sat next to Remus, but Severus as well. She cursed her bad luck silently but tried to pretend that she hadn't noticed him, deciding that her silent treatment had been working for her so far and there was no point in acknowledging him now, not when she would probably have to hear him talking to his friends about the immorality of muggle-borns in the same classroom as pure-bloods in a moment. Instead she turned to Remus.

"Are you alright, you look a little off today." Lily asked, trying to sound concerned but still thinking about Severus on her other side. If it was possible, Remus managed to go an even paler shade as he shakily nodded his head.

"Y-Yes." Was his simple reply as at that moment, Slughorn also began talking.

"Well done to everyone in this class for achieving Es and Os at OWL level and choosing to take it forward to NEWT. Now then, today I am going to carry on a little tradition in which I ask each student to create a potion of living death – as found on page 48 of your books – and the most effective cauldron will receive a phial of a miraculous little potion Felix Felicis. Or more commonly known as Liquid Luck. Your time starts. Now." Slughorn started his stop watch and walked back towards his desk starting to mark the essays he had just taken off the students. Meanwhile, there was a commotion at the supply cupboard as all the students attempted to get their ingredients. That is except for the three students at the front of the class on the left.

Lily was confident enough in her own skills, having achieved an 'O' at OWL and so had decided to use a little trick that she had been taught that if you begin to heat the cauldron before collecting your ingredients, it means that the temperature will be hot enough when they are used. She had been taught this by Severus, who had also stayed at the bench, and a slightly confused Remus stayed and copied, knowing that Lily was better than him in this subject.

Lily and Remus walked to the cupboard just as everyone else was leaving and weighed and collected the ingredients that they needed. They were almost ready to go when Severus walked in.

"Potter not with you Lupin. I'm surprised he let you out of his sight, isn't he your master?" Lily felt Remus tense beside her, she patted his hand gently and turned to him.

"You know, Sev. I don't think you know what friendship is. You see, James is actually ice to his friends, therefore they are _willing_ to talk to him and help him with homework. Maybe if you tried the same thing, you could have some as well." And with that the two of them walked out of the cupboard, leaving a scornful looking Severus alone.

"Thanks." Remus said as they sat down and began following the instructions from their recipes.

"No worries. That's what friends do. Anyway, you had my back on the train and now I have yours."

"Ah. Wait until James hears that I am friends with you. He'll probably punch me." They both laughed slightly at this. James had always been a little over-protective of Lily (especially considering that they weren't even friends for a long time) and had once punched one of the Ravenclaw boys who lent Lily a quill when hers broke – after the lesson had finished of course.

Remus and Lily worked on their potions together, sharing the knowledge that the two of them had and came in tied second for the prize at the end of the class – which Severus won. For the first time, however, it seemed almost unimportant. They might not have won the prize but the two had strengthened their bond of friendship in the last hour and a half and this seemed more important to both of them than even Felix Felicis.

"Ok, I'm going to head up and drop my bag off, and then I'll meet you lot by the tree to try and wrangle my timetable off James." Lily told Remus as they climbed the dungeon stairs.

"I'll tell him to go easy on you." Remus chuckled as they split off in their separate directions. "See you in a few."

Lily climbed against the rush of people who were trying to get out into the glorious sunshine that only came about for the first two weeks of September after being cooped up in classrooms for the whole morning. This meant that when Lily got up to the tower and entered the common room, it was deserted. Most people didn't have enough homework on the first day back to warrant spending yet another hour inside. Lily was planning on enjoying the sunshine too (especially as she had spent most of her summer shut inside her bedroom) and so quickly put her bag down on her bed and peered out the window to check that the boys were still at the tree – which they were.

Secretly happy, about spending lunch with the so called 'marauders' Lily walked down the stairs quickly, eager to get out into the sunshine. But when she finally got there she was horror-struck. James Potter, the boy who she was just beginning to warm to had Severus in the air and upside down. It was his signature trick – levicorpus – but this didn't mean it was a good thing.

"Let him down now!" She called, shocking James so much that the spell stopped and Severus dropped from mid-air. She ran over to the crumpled mess of black hair and robes that was lying on the floor. "Are you ok, Sev?" She asked trying to help him up, but he simply pushed her away.

"I don't need help from a mud-blood like you." He hissed. Lily had had enough she stormed back up towards the castle, trying to get away from everyone before she really started crying. She wasn't sure if Severus knew how much calling her that hurt her or if he knew and that was why he used it.

Wiping her eyes on the back of her hands, she heard James' thundering footsteps as he chased after her calling her name.

"Go away James." She yelled and faster than she had ever managed it before, she was back in her dormitory, lying face down on her bed. She must have only been there for a few minutes before she heard a grunt and then the sound of something falling. She poked her head out of the door and saw that the stairs had been turned into a slide, which James laid at the bottom of.

"James." She called, still slightly tearful. He looked up at the sound of her voice and smiled. Lily smiled, too and slid down the stairs, landing next to James. She helped him up and the two of them walked over to sit in the armchairs next to the empty fireplace.

"I'm sorry." James said softly. "I know that Snape is your friend, it's just…" he sighed. "he's just not mine and I can't stand it when he calls you that…that."

"Mud-blood?" Lily finished for him and he nodded. "I know, and he's not my friend. Not now. I keep trying with him, he keeps telling me he's changed but then…he hasn't. And I know that he's just as awful to you." The two sat in silence for a moment before James reached into his pocket and pulled out a piece of parchment.

"Here. A deal's a deal. Even if you didn't make it all the way to the tree." It was, of course, Lily's timetable.

"You circled all of the Transfiguration, Defence against the Dark Arts, and Charms lessons." Lily commented, noticing the red ink that surrounded each one.

"They're the lessons we have together." He said looking away, Lily could almost hear the embarrassment in his voice as he turned away. "I don't know why I did it…"

"James. Look at me." James turned and when she was looking into his eyes. Lily did something she never expected herself to want to do when she woke up that morning. But she did it anyway. Lily kissed James and James held her as though he may never let her go again.

After a moment, however, he had to as she pulled away and began to speak.

"Tell no one." She started with a stern voice. Her heart was beating so fast and so loud with the thought of what she was about to say that she wondered if James would be able to hear it. "But I'd like to see how it goes, if you'd like." Lily said quickly and this time it was her turn to turn away embarrassedly until James stroked her cheek and nodded before kissing her again.

 **Yay. There's chapter two. Please review. By the way, if you couldn't tell, I had no idea for the transfiguration class so please don't judge the balloon/goldfish thing. I racked my brain and that's the best I came up with. Hope you enjoyed it anyway and I'll see you next time – Chescaannie x**


	3. Chapter 3

Lily managed to awake in time to go down to breakfast with the other girls in her room the next morning. According to them, they had tried to wake her but she could not be roused. This made sense to Lily who had always been a heavy sleeper and she had been quite tired after the travel up from home – and it's always easier to sleep on the full stomach that occurs after the start of year feast. She walked down to breakfast with the girls and sat between them and Remus, although she tried to avoid eye contact with the marauders (especially James). After eating her food, she headed to her first lesson of the day – potions – with Remus.

"Do you think we'll get our essays back today?" He asked, he looked nervous and his face was even paler than the previous day. Surely he couldn't be that stressed about potions on the second day back.

"You'll have done great. I doubt we'll get them back today anyway, but still, don't worry about it." Lily shrugged her shoulders as the pair descended the steep stone steps into the dungeons. Despite the darkness of the dungeons, Slughorn's classroom always seemed strangely light in comparison – probably due to the large amount of fires that flickered away under cauldrons containing huge quantities of different potions on one side of the room.

By the time they made it to the desk, Lily was half carrying Remus who seemed like he may collapse at any moment and then he fell onto his stool.

"Are you ok?" Lily asked, worry in her eyes. Remus simply nodded but he looked as though he may be sick if he opened his mouth.

Today was a theory lesson and so Professor Slughorn was simply lecturing them on the side-effects of polyjuice potion and drawing crude diagrams on the blackboard with his wand. Lily was taking notes and trying to take in as much information as possible – as it may come up in her NEWT exams next year – but kept getting distracted by Remus who was sat still with his head in his arms.

The classroom emptied quickly as the bell rang for the end of lesson except for Lily who was quickly and quietly packing up both her things and Remus'. Something was definitely wrong with him, she thought, and after slowly rousing him and helping him to stand, she decided to take him up to the hospital wing.

Half supporting Remus made the walk upstairs long and slow as Lily struggled under the weight of her tall friend. However, half way up the second staircase she got some help in the form of James Potter who had run down the stairs to meet them.

"What happened?" He demanded, glancing at the semi-conscious Remus and placing one arm over his shoulder. The support helped a lot and the three of them managed to speed up a bit.

"Dunno." Lily panted, the walk from the dungeon was taking a toll on her. "He half passed out in lesson and I thought I should take him straight up here."

The effort necessary to move three people up the stairs between two – although easier than moving two with just one person – was still difficult and therefore there was no talking until Remus was safely on one of the beds. Madam Pomfrey appeared out of her office almost as soon as they walked through the doors and guided them to a bed which had already been made before she shooed the two of them out of the room.

On the landing that downstairs or into the hospital wing, James grabbed Lily's hand and led her to a small alcove with a large window that looked out towards the lake in the grounds. The two of them sat down and James undid a curtain to give them a little more privacy in case anyone came upstairs.

"You're doing astronomy, aren't you?" He asked, in a hushed tone.

"Yeah, what does that have to do with anything?" Lily answered but James spoke without a pause.

"Just, tell me about the moon tonight." Lily gave James a confused glance. "Please." He begged and, with a sigh, Lily got her astronomy book out her bag and began to study her notes.

"It's a full moon-" she started, looking at James but his expression told her that that was nowhere near enough information. "And it's a pretty big one, moon rises at about eight tonight. Strange, the sun won't set until half past. Hmm. And it will be up until about five tomorrow morning – if my calculations are correct." She looked up and saw James' face was as white as a sheet and he was staring off into space with a concerned look on his face. "What's wrong?"

James shook his head. "I need to find Sirius and Peter." He said and began looking through his bag in a hurry, pulling out books and pieces of paper.

"Well, they're not in there. Come on let's go look for them." Lily stood but James stayed sat down, searching until he found a blank piece of parchment.

"Swear you won't say anything." He said, taking his wand out of his pocket and staring at Lily through his glasses. Lily nodded and raised her hands slightly in fear. He took his wand, pointed it at the parchment and muttered something that Lily didn't quite hear but suddenly ink appeared in twirling patterns all over it and some words which she didn't have time to read before James unfolded it.

"Is that-"

"Yes, A fully comprehensive map of Hogwarts with everyone's locations on." He said, not even looking up as he scanned the map for Peter and Sirius' names. "Ok, Peter is down at the greenhouses, in Herbology, and Sirius is in the library. Ok," Finally he looked up at Lily. "do me a favour please and go and get Sirius from the library, I'll get Peter, and meet me in the common room. Thank you." And after a quick kiss on the cheek for Lily, James disappeared down the stairs. Lily was struggling with figuring out what was actually going on and sat for a moment, bewildered, before running off herself towards the library.

Lily soon found Sirius sleeping in one corner of the library and tapped him on the shoulder.

"You know, when James told me to come and get you from the library I thought that you might be working. But sleeping…I think that makes more sense actually." She laughed as he slowly stood up. Lily stopped laughing and looked down. "It's Remus. James and I had to take him to the hospital wing. He wants to meet us in the common room." But before Lily had chance to finish her sentence he was off, and Lily was trailing behind trying to keep up.

In fact, Lily only just managed to sneak into the common room before the fat lady shut behind him.

"James isn't here yet. Where did you say he was?" He turned to glare at Lily, as if this was all her fault.

"He had to get Peter from Herbology…" Sirius darted over to the window and began staring out of it.

"I can't see them…they might be inside the castle already." He said with a certain amount of assurance in his voice and took a seat on the armchair by the window which he continued to stare out of.

Within minutes, James and Peter came panting into the room and sat opposite Sirius. The three boys formed a semi-circle that was closed towards Lily and spoke in hushed tones. Lily sighed and sat in front of the fire taking out her homework, figuring that she might as well make a start on it – it was what she was planning on doing during her free period anyway.

Ten minutes later, there was movement from the corner and the three boys disappeared through the portrait hole, presumably heading up to the hospital wing to see Remus. Lily sighed again, wondering what had happened during that last hour. At five to eleven, she packed up her things back into her bag and headed off towards charms.

Lily found a seat next to her friend Dorcas Meadowes at the front of the class who smiled at her as she moved towards her and moved her bag off the chair.

"Hi, I'm glad that we have one lesson together, I feel like I've not seen you. I know it's only the second day back, but still." Dorcas told her, Lily smiled as she chatted on about her summer but she didn't speak except to agree in the right places – her brain was thinking about other things.

Just as Professor Flitwick greeted the class, James and Sirius burst through the door and moved towards two empty seats at the back. Flitwick shook his head but smiled, he always had seemed slightly amused by their misbehaviour. He soon set the class to work on charming paper to fly around the room, which was great fun and soon the class was filled with the familiar laughter that often occurred in Charms lessons.

Lily took this as an opportunity and scribbled a quick note asking James to meet her tonight, she sent it flying but _accidently_ dropped the charm just over James' head. She caught his eye and motioned that he should open it whilst Sirius was busy scribbling his own note to someone. James shook his head and hastily wrote a note back to her which she quickly unfolded upon its arrival.

 _Sorry, got things to do tonight, tomorrow? X_

Lily shrugged, slightly disappointed but still turned around and nodded to him, just before Sirius finally sent his essay of a note flying through the air which promptly landed in front of a girl who immediately started giggling to her friends. Lily attempted to catch up with James after the lesson but he disappeared so quickly that she ended up walking down to lunch with Dorcas instead who talked her ear off for the entire hour.

The afternoon was uneventful with a History of Magic lesson and then another free before the majority of the school finished their lessons. However, she saw neither hide nor hair of James – or any of the marauders for that matter. After none of them made an appearance by the end of dinner, Lily decided to go and check on Remus herself – deciding this is probably where they would be.

The sun was just setting as she walked up the mountain of stairs towards the hospital wing, sending beautiful colours through the glass windows and onto the stones below. Most of the school was completely deserted as most preferred to spend the evenings in the comfort of the common rooms, or else spending an extra hour working in the library before it became mandatory to do so. However, just as she approached the last set of stairs she heard voices moving down. Lily moved to hide underneath them and prayed that whoever it was would just move straight past her as being discovered by a teacher could end up in a detention with so little time to get back to the common room.

"Come along, hurry now." Said the voice of Madam Pomfrey as she bustled a boy with dark blond hair through the corridor quickly. Lily immediately recognised him as Remus but said nothing out of surprise and fear of being found. She could have sworn, however, that just as she moved to the open corridor to head back to Gryffindor Tower she felt someone push past her but when she looked, no one was there. There was, however, a piece of blank parchment on the floor beside her foot which she picked up and looked around again. She had a feeling she knew what this was.

Once back at the tower, Lily quickly made her excuses and went up the stairs to her dormitory where she sat on her bed with the parchment and her wand. She couldn't remember what James had said to his piece to make it reveal the map earlier that day but made an attempt anyway, trying any spell that popped into her head, hoping it may be the one that he had used. None of them worked so she tried to beg instead. She tried being polite and saying please but in the end she got cross with it and told it to "Reveal". This spell seemed to work as as soon as she did this, her wand tip lit up and ink appeared on the page.

 _Messers Prongs, Padfoot, Moony, and Wormtail,_ it read, _would like to congratulate Miss Evans on finding their map._

 _Messer Wormtail, would like to tell her to keep her dirty hands off of things that don't belong to her._

 _Whilst, Messer Moony would simply like to tell her that picking rubbish up off of the floor is not recommended and is a filthy habit._

 _Messer Padfoot would like to remind Miss Evans, that her secret obsession with James does not give her permission to poke her greasy nose where it does not belong._

 _Finally, Messer Prongs would like to apologise for his friends and hopes that she has a good night's sleep._

She sighed, clearly she knew only the password for the insulting parchment – or perhaps this was something completely different than what James had used before – either way, she had no way of finding where Remus was going with Madam Pomfrey, or of finding James, Sirius, and Peter this evening. Instead, she scribbled a note on a spare piece of parchment she found in the bottom of her trunk.

 _Found this, thought you might want it back – Lily_.

She crept downstairs to the loud common room and then went back up the other stairs to the boys' dormitories. She found the sign saying _Sixth Year Boys_ on a door on the same floor as hers on the other side and slipped the note and parchment underneath the door before heading back to her own room. Lily covered herself in her red and gold duvet and fell asleep almost as soon as her head hit the fully fluffed pillow.


	4. Chapter 4

**Ok, so I do realise that I did make a mistake and Jily didn't happen until seventh year. I've decided just to go with it and it might still work out in the end with my plans – but probably not because I'm far too excited about them – but hope you can continue to read it despite this mistake and please review! – Chescaannie x**

The next day Lily noticed that James and his friends all looked exceptionally tired and – although he looked much better and was now back in school and lessons – Remus still looked rather worse for wear. At break, she found them all laid by the tree by the lake, soaked in the rays of the late summer sun, fast asleep. Lily glanced at them for a moment before deciding that this could be a good chance to speak to James before she hopefully saw him that night. Lily approached and carefully shook his shoulder. James grumbled and opened his eyes and smiled when he saw Lily's green eyes looking at him. Silently the two of them rose and moved away from the sleeping boys. James surreptitiously took Lily's hand in his and guided her towards a small group of trees a little way a way where they could not be seen or overheard.

"What's up?" He asked in a hushed voice once they were under cover.

"Just wanted to know if we were still on for tonight?" James laughed at her. "What?"

"Just, never thought that Lily Evans would be worried that I might not meet her." He moved closer into her so that their faces were almost touching; Lily could feel his warm breath on her face and could feel her heart beating fast against her chest.

"I have astronomy at midnight, so if you feel like waiting up with me…" James smiled at her and nodded.

"Of course." He said and kissed her lightly, although neither moved more than an inch away from each other.

"James!" A voice called causing them both to jump apart. "James, we know you're in there." It was Sirius. Lily began frantically looking around for an escape. James placed a finger on her lips and a hand on her shoulder so that she became still.

"What do you want, Padfoot?" He shouted back.

"Come on. McGonagall is going to kill us if we're late. What are you doing in there anyway?" Lily breathed a sigh of relief – they would have mentioned her if they knew she was there. James raised a hand telling her to stay and pulled out a golden snitch with the other from his pocket.

"Snitch went too far." James quickly kissed Lily on her forehead and waved goodbye before turning and leaving the tree circle to re-join his friends.

Once their footsteps and voices faded away as they headed back to the school, she, too, emerged from the shelter of the trees into the dazzling sunlight. She checked her watch and saw that lessons started in about a minute – that was why it was so quiet and still out here. Lily did her best to stay a few steps behind the marauders as she followed them to lesson where she also sat next to James and pretended that it was just a coincidence that they were all slightly late.

"So. Why are you late, Evans?" James asked, unable to fully keep his smile or his little wink fully hidden but doing his best attempt regardless.

"Oh, I left my book upstairs and didn't realise until I was almost here so I had to go back." Lily said quickly, making up the story on the spot, and then turning away from him to concentrate on her book and notes from the last lesson which she had taken out of her bag.

The lesson seemed to pass quickly and Lily struggled to concentrate on Professor McGonagall as she kept meeting James' eyes in a sideways glance and the two of them would turn away. Lily wasn't ashamed of her liking of James and there was a large part of her that wanted to stand up and tell everyone that they were together. But there was another part of her that enjoyed the secret, it was as if she had something that no one else knew about and it meant that she didn't need to worry about what people thought about her blood status or anything else about her because she had James. Another reason for keeping it a secret, however, was her blood status. James was a pure blood and whilst she knew that he didn't judge her for being born a muggle, she knew that he could face ridicule off of many people if they did find out.

As soon as the lesson ended Lily sped off towards Gryffindor tower, noticing that the boys all headed off towards the entrance hall and probably the tree again. When she was almost there she noticed that a group of people were stood in her way, blocking the stairs. Looking at them she noticed they were all Slytherins of varying heights and ages and in amongst their ranks she spotted the long dark hair of her ex-best friend: Severus Snape.

"Excuse me." Lily said attempting to get past them without getting into a fight but none of them moved even an inch to let her past. She could feel her heart hammering against her chest and her breathing increased rapidly, but she straightened her face, and looked the thug straight in the eye. "Can you move please." She repeated but still no one moved.

"You think we're going to move for a mud blood like you. Do you know how much money our families put into this place, and here you are, acting like you own the place. The Blacks have been here for hundreds of generations. How long has your family been here, Evans? Don't think that's a name you'll find on any pure blood's family tree." The group laughed. Lily recognised the leader as Regulus Black – Sirius' younger brother.

"I have just as much of a right to be here as you – I got my letter when I was eleven, same as you. Just because I am not some elitist idiot – like some people – doesn't mean that I'm any less magical than you." Lily folded her arms and stared them down, ignoring the hammering in her chest and pretending she was as calm as can be. Regulus chuckled again and his followers formed a circle around Lily, who spotted Severus standing to her left, she stared at him, begging him to get his friends to leave her alone, but when he did nothing she turned back to Regulus with a cold stare.

"Don't worry. We'll leave you alone in a minute, just need to give you a little reminder of what you are." He raised his wand and Lily felt a searing pain in her arm – as if something was burning into her skin.

She fell to the floor clutching it, tears burning her eyes as she refused to cry or move until she heard footsteps receding down the stairs and she was quite certain she was alone. Then she stood, shook her head and walked straight up to her dormitory with her head held high, until she collapsed in tears on her bed, still clutching her arm. Upon closer inspection she noticed that it read the word 'mudblood'. She quickly pulled her sleeve down to cover it, picked up her bag and headed back downstairs towards the charms classroom.

She was ten minutes early when she took her seat at the front of the class and most of the class was still at lunch when Professor Flitwick entered and jumped at her presence.

"Everything ok, Miss Evans?" He asked but Lily merely nodded and continued looking through her notes.

Soon the rest of the class joined her and Dorca sat merrily beside her along with one of her friends whom she talked to happily for the majority of the lesson without turning to Lily, but Lily was happy about this as she didn't feel much like talking, even though the class was revising cheering charms on one another; nothing seemed to be able to cheer her up.

Lily's final lesson of the day (for now) was History of Magic and she found herself actually enthralled in the lesson, despite everyone else's lack of concentration, she found that concentrating on what Professor Binns was saying actually took her mind off of everything.

At the end of the day, Lily stood up and left for dinner in the Great Hall – missing lunch had left her rather hungry – but when she arrived, James was stood alone outside the door. He smiled as she approached and he inconspicuously gestured for her to follow him as he walked outside.

The sun was just setting, sending beautiful colours through the sky and onto the lake, which they sat beside in the shade of one of the trees. James put an arm around her and she leaned against his chest. It was strange how fast her loathing feelings towards James had changed to almost the opposite and now she felt perfectly at peace beside him. The two sat in comfortable silence for a few minutes before James finally spoke.

"So how was your day." He asked, fiddling with her hands in his.

"Ok." She shrugged. "How was your day?"

"Well, I enjoyed break but I missed someone at lunch who looked very down in Charms, despite the cheering charms." He moved so that he was looking into Lily's eyes but she looked away. "Tell me what happened."

"Nothing happened James, just was in a bit of a down mood and wasn't hungry. It happens sometimes." She shrugged again and was given away by her stomach rumbling loudly so that James laughed.

"Don't worry, I went to see the house elves and they gave me enough food for us to have a decent feast." He pulled open his school bag and revealed a box filled with bits of chicken and chips, another with Yorkshire puddings in, and a third with two rather large slices of chocolate cake in. The pair tucked in in silence, both too busy eating to say anything.

"Lily." James said and she looked up at him. "Pass me your arm." He held out his hand and Lily reached out so that he was holding her by the elbow. It wasn't until he had tight hold of her that she realised what was wrong. "What is this." He was shaking with rage as he pointed at the red words on her forearm.

"It's. It's nothing." She started, attempting to pull her arm away to cover it up but he kept hold, his face white with anger.

"That's not nothing Lily. Who was it? I'll kill them." But before Lily could answer James continued speaking. "Let me guess, your best friend _Snivilus._ "

"Well, first of all, we aren't on speaking terms anymore, but yes. He was there." Lily looked away, she just wanted to run and be alone.

"So how many were there?"

"I don't know, eight, nine? I didn't pay that much attention, the only two I knew the names of were Severus and Regulus – Sirius' brother. But it's nothing I can't deal with James. In fact, I'd better get used to it if I want to live."

"No. Lily, you shouldn't have to cope with this. Go to Dumbledore."

"And what's he going to do? Defeat You-Know-Who? Make everyone change their views on muggle-borns? Because he's already trying to do both of those things, there's nothing more he can do. Anyway, my mother always told me that the best way to deal with bullies is to ignore them."

"Lil. I don't know what your definition is, but I would say that this is not bullying – it's racism. And you shouldn't have to put up with it. I swear, if I ever saw anyone doing anything like that to you…" James clenched his fists and turned away. "I'm going to fight him you know. I'm going to put an end to all this, as soon as I've finished Hogwarts I'm joining the Order and I swear you'll be safe." He took her hand and looked into Lily's green eyes but she just laughed.

"Not likely. If all goes to plan I'm going to be on the front line as well. You should have figured out I'm not the type to sit at home and worry. Two years and we'll be there, fighting him, together."

The rest of the evening passed in a blur of talking and walking around the grounds. They discovered just how much thy had in common despite Lily thinking they were so different for so long; it turned out they shared the same core ideals and had the same hopes of having a big happy family with a few children that they would love no matter their Hogwarts house (James begrudgingly agreed once Lily pointed out that any child raised by him couldn't be as bad as a lot of those in Slytherin and that they had produced some good witches and wizards – like Merlin who is easily one of the most famous).

Before long it was time for Lil to head off for her Astronomy lesson at the top of the North tower. It was just before curfew when they made it to the common room and Lily joined the students that were being taken up to the tower by Professor Sinstra to avoid being caught by Filch on their way to lesson. James waved goodbye and ducked into the common room.

The lesson had been long and it was only a little before two in the morning when Lily returned and collapsed into sleep on her bed only to wake up five and a half hours later as the other girls woke her from her deep slumber. She quickly dressed and went downstairs for breakfast which she shovelled down before heading off to her Defence Against The Dark Arts lesson with the new Professor Sinew. Based on first impressions alone, Professor Sinew seemed like he might be able to get them through their NEWTS, rather than just a year like the rest of their Defence teachers. He was tall and large – but muscular – and his gruff expression suggested that he was more than able to handle himself, instilling confidence in Lily as she sat down – believing she might at least learn something useful for her future life in the order with this teacher.

"Good morning class. I am Professor Sinew, your teacher for NEWT Defence Against The Dark Arts. I hope you have all had pleasant summer and am sure you will have a great term."

The lesson was fine, he taught them the basic wand movements and the theory behind a few simple spells as there was a high chance that the students could be tested on this in their exam in "only nineteen months", as he said this, the students that had been up all night and were used to falling asleep in the first lesson of the day after Astronomy woke suddenly and started scribbling down notes from the board at lightning speed. But then the bell rang, signalling to Lily that she only had two lessons left before lunch and there was break in between them.

Lily spent the next hour and a half (which was labelled on her timetable as "Free" but without the heart around it that would suggest James was also free) in the library researching potion remedies for Slughorn and writing them up in an essay which was supposed to be two feet long, although hers was currently three inches short. Then she felt someone clasp their hands around her eyes and shout "Guess who!". She knew instantly from the voice that it was James.

"Hmm. I don't know. Is it santa?" She asked, unable to keep her laughs completely back.

"Ho ho ho, no he won't be here for another three months."

"Just get off of me James!" Lily laughed, pulling his hands away from her eyes and looking up at an angry looking Madam Pince.

Before she could tell them to get out, Lily picked up her things and the pair ran for it, laughing all the way out the door. James led her down a deserted corridor where he pinned her against the wall and kissed her slowly. Lily found herself clutching his back and pulling him closer into her. The bell rang causing the pair to jump apart and laugh.

"Charms?" James asked, putting his arm out which Lily took, laughing. James kissed the top of Lily's head at the door of the classroom and the pair split up to take their separate seats for the lesson.

 **Thank you for reading. Please review! – Chescaannie x**


	5. Chapter 5

James and Lily's strange relationship carried on in this way, stolen glances between (and often during) lessons; secret meetings in the dead of night; but, unfortunately, it was getting more and more difficult for them to keep their feelings secret as they grew. For James, it was substantially easier as he had expressed an interest in Lily for as long as most of the school could remember, therefore, he could keep making his flirtatious comments as usual and no one, not even his friends batted an eye. Lily, on the other hand, was having much greater difficulty as she was supposed to hate James – which was certainly no longer true – and was having more and more difficulty with every day to brush off his comments and glare at him instead of replying in the same manner.

One thing that made it even harder for Lily was the bullying which had increased over the first few weeks of term as the Dark Lord increased ever more in power and the Daily Prophet reported more and more wizards and witches that had been killed for their connections to muggle-borns like Lily. Many people had become cold with her instead of being friendly like they had for the past five years and Lily was sure she'd found it easier to make friends when she was in first year! Consequently, she found herself spending more and more time with the Marauders who were some of the few people who did not see her as _unworthy_ of studying magic or a _lesser being_.

One of the worst things about the bullying, however, was James' reaction whenever it happened. His face would turn red or white and he would have to be held back to stop him from hitting someone. This didn't always help and was often in detention for hurting someone, he told Lily he didn't care because at least he was protecting her, but Lily worried for his safety as well.

At school, of course, she knew he was fine. But she did worry that if it did work out for them then he and his family (as well as Lily herself) would probably find themselves on the wrong side of the death eaters and would most likely end up dead. This was a thought that Lily had almost every time she went to sleep and was a common occurrence in her dreams which always happily started at her wedding. After these dreams she often thought about distancing herself from James but then she found herself in his company with his friends at break, or lunch – or else alone with just him most nights – and completely forgot about the whole thing.

That is…until one afternoon when she returned to the common room after lesson to find James and Sirius sat on the couch in front of the fire, both holding ice to their faces.

"What happened to you two?" She had asked them, afraid of the answer.

"My little brother and his gang." Said Sirius removing the ice for a moment only to return it almost instantly.

"What did they do?" She asked kneeling down on the carpet and looking up at the pair of them. She wanted to help them, particularly James, but wasn't really sure what to do – she wasn't particularly well practiced at any medical spells – so she ended up just leaning on James' arm slightly as she watched them. James and Sirius shared a look and there was a pause before James spoke.

"He was calling you names," He said "And I stood up for you because I can't stand to hear people going on like that – especially about you." He added and looked down into her eyes. There was a moment where Lily felt her heart flutter and she could feel the urge to kiss him increasing inside her until her thoughts changed and she looked away and stood up.

"You shouldn't have. Thank you," she added, not wanting to seem rude or unappreciative "but you shouldn't do that – not for me." She quickly walked straight up to her dormitory, but still heard Sirius ask 'what's her problem' as she left.

The truth was that Lily did have a problem – her worst fears were being realised and she now knew that there was only one thing she could do to save James from what would likely be a terrible life with her. A week ago, when Lily thought of her future with James, she imagined a big white wedding where they were surrounded by their friends and family, Sirius was the best man and she had convinced Petunia to be her maid-of-honour as they had become as good friends as they once had been. She saw it fade into having a home with him and she looked after their few children who all ran to hug their daddy when he walked through the door after a long day at work.

This image was gone. It had been replaced with constant running and hiding – never living a normal life – it ended with her crying over James' still body and she was confronted by a pale man with red eyes. She knew the chances of Voldemort himself killing her and James were slim, but she knew that whoever did it, it would be on his orders. Lily couldn't bring herself to force that life on James. He was a pureblood! He had nothing to fear from the dark lord – not really. But if he married her then there would be a near certainty that they would both be killed and Lily couldn't think about that. She made up her mind as of what she would do on their date that night.

At about half eleven, she crept down to the common room where James was sat alone in front of the dying fire.

"Hey." She said as she approached him and he moved over to make room for her to sit next to him. Lily perched on the edge of the seat so as not to be too close to him. She could still smell him and the crackling of the fire which made her almost change her mind, but with one glance at her purple and slightly swollen cheek reminded her of why she had to do this.

"James," she started, her heart beating out of her chest as she looked into his brown eyes and almost melted.

"Lily. What was that about before. I know you want to keep this a secret but you actually kind of hurt my feelings about the way you handled it." James told her. He looked hurt and Lily immediately remembered what she was doing there.

"James. Listen. This isn't going to work out. I can't watch you get hurt for me. I can't watch you ruin your life because of who I am – it's too much. That's why I reacted that way. I'm sorry James, but this is over." Lily stood up and left, tears in her eyes.

"Lily. Lily, no, please." She heard his voice and his steps following her as she walked towards her dormitory. She was halfway up the stairs when she heard the stairs collapse into a slide as he had attempted to follow her up them. Lily didn't turn around and she only let herself cry in silence once she had safely crept into her room and crawled into her bed without waking any of her dormitory mates.

The sun rose the next morning, sending red and orange light streaming into the room, waking most of the girls, except Lily who had not slept a wink, and it was obvious from her red, bleary eyes and mess of hair.

"You Ok, Lily?" Mel asked.

"Yeah. Just couldn't sleep." Lily answered quickly before locking herself in the bathroom to make herself look vaguely decent – or at least so that no one would be able to tell the night she'd had.

At breakfast, she managed to glimpse James through a couple of Gryffindor girls who were whispering and giggling to one another. He looked just as bad as she felt and, though he was surrounded by his friends he was not as chatty as he had been the other day and from the looks of things they were trying to figure out why.

Transfiguration was awkward as well, as she sat next to James, and Remus seemed to be aware that Lily was down as well in potions. In fact, by the end of the day, Lily felt even worse than she had on the morning and went to the library at the end of the day where she sat working on her transfiguration essay that she had been set. Soon she was joined at her table by someone else and when she looked up she saw that it was Severus. Honestly, he was probably the last person she wanted to see right now. Lily decided to simply ignore him and so she continued with her work like he wasn't there.

"I'm sorry, Lily." He said, she scoffed but said nothing. "Seriously. I'm sorry for everything that's happened."

"You don't know half of what I'm going through right now Severus," She snapped. "I'm fed up of your apologies. I can see you killing me one day and then begging for my forgiveness because you've changed. If you want forgiveness, then earn it. Until then, leave me alone" She spat the last words and picked up her books, stuffed them in her bag and then turned and left the library.

She got to the common room and saw James sat chatting with his friends and, even though it was only half past seven, she went straight to bed claiming that her lack of sleep the night before had left her extremely tired. This was, of course, true but she knew that she would not sleep much better that night.

 **Yay! New chapter. I found this quite hard to write because I ship Jily so bad, but I don't think it's a real spoiler if I say they end up together. Sorry this took so long; I will try to be quicker with the next one. See you soon and don't forget to review! – Chescaannie x**


	6. Chapter 6

For the rest of the week, Lily's sleep was minimal – although it was starting to improve – and she had decided to take her protection one step further and was attempting to lessen her human contact as much as possible so that no one could be hurt because of their friendship with her. She started to go to breakfast early and leave before anyone else arrived, skip lunch, and only go to dinner for the last twenty minutes.

Her work, however, was amazing. She had finished reading all of their set books for that year and homework was done the night it was given. She practically lived in the library, only leaving when Madam Pince warned that they had half an hour to be back at their common rooms. James was nearly always still there – sometimes still a bit muddy from quidditch – and he smiled at her. It took everything in Lily not to run over to him, apologise and beg him to take her back, even though he was surrounded by his friends, but she knew that her plan for his safety had to succeed and so she walked straight past him, up the stairs to bed, pretending not to have seen him.

Lily managed to avoid most people by pretending to be asleep when everyone else came upstairs and she often heard them talking about her. "She's always asleep." "Do you think she's Ok?" and then she would be gone before any of them woke up the next morning. Even in lessons she had become more subdued, saying nothing more than 'hello' to Remus in potions lesson and trying her best to ignore the rest of the marauders when they attempted to speak to her at any other time – replying with only a simple nod.

Lily awoke early one Saturday morning, only to realise that everyone else was waking up too and all seemed very excited.

"What's going on?" She asked, half asleep and mid-yawn, the four girls laughed at her sleepiness.

"Thought you might not wake up in time!" Stephanie told her, brushing her long dark hair on the edge of her bed. "It's quidditch! First match of the season."

"Potter's captain and, from what I've heard, he's picked a great team!" Louise reminded her. "I think we're going to win the cup again this year."

"Great." Lily said, trying to play off her sarcasm as tiredness. The truth was that she didn't care all that much about Quidditch and she wanted to see James even less. "But I think I need to catch up on some work today." The girls shared a look. "What?"

"You're always working, Lil. Come and have some fun with us for a change." Stephanie told her. Lily sighed but nodded and got up to dress.

Fifteen minutes later the five girls appeared downstairs in the Great Hall for a quick breakfast before the excitement got too much and they went down for the first quidditch match of the season. It was clear from the look at the great hall that this was true of many people as the majority appeared to have already left and those who remained had donned scarves and cloaks – to protect from the October chills – that showed support for their respective teams. The Ravenclaws and Hufflepuffs seemed just as excited as everyone else, after all it was a favourite sport of the Wizarding World, and whilst they didn't have a team in this game they would still enjoy it just as much as the houses competing.

Lily and her friends got to the stadium about ten minutes before the start of the match and the pitch was already packed with people waiting and chatting loudly to one another. There were so many people, in fact, that the girls had to fight to get into one of the observation towers and then even more to get to the front – which Lily was not bothered about but she was the only one of the group who wasn't.

Finally, the teams walked out onto the pitch where the captains shook hands. Lily knew that James was captain for Gryffindor but couldn't quite make out who was Slytherin's. Then the two teams were in the air as the whistle blew and the game started.

"Potter takes the quaffle without a moment's hesitation." The commentator began. "Passes to Smith. Intercepted by Winston who passes to Lindsey, who shoots but is caught by the Gryffindor keeper McConoughly. He passes it to Smith who passes it to Potter who shoots and scores!" The last part of her voice was blocked out by the sounds of cheering from the scarlet and gold clad Gryffindors and boos and hisses from the emerald and silver Slytherins.

After three more goals from the Gryffindors (two of which were by James) and two by the Slytherin chasers, the snitch was caught by the Gryffindor chaser and the crowd erupted into cheers around Lily. But her eyes were kept just behind the celebrating captain who was celebrating his win by flying with one hand in the air. Unbeknown to him, one of the Slytherin beaters – Lily couldn't quite make out who – had just hit a bludger towards James.

It happened in slow motion as Lily's eyes widened and mouth opened to shout but she was stunned into silence. The ball flew through the air and landed hitting the back of James' skull. His eyes flew upwards and his hands slackened on his broom before he slid of and thudded to the floor. There was a loud gasp from the crowd.

Before Lily even knew what she was doing she was gone. She ran down the steps towards the pitch where she had to push past a few teachers – she didn't even notice who they were – until she was next to James who had somehow managed to land on his back on the grass. Lily clasped his hand and his eyelids fluttered so that they were opened slightly and before they shut once more Lily could have sworn that he had smiled.

"Out the way please, Miss Evans." Professor McGonagall told her and she complied. She watched as he was levitated onto a stretcher and taken up towards the castle. Lily followed, not caring that she had just made a spectacle of herself in front of the whole school. She was soon joined by Peter, Remus, and Sirius - who put an arm around her shoulder as they walked in silence up towards the hospital wing.

"Only two visitors at a time please!" Madam Pomfrey called as James was hurried inside. The four people stayed outside the door for a moment but after the three boys seemingly communicated using only glances, Remus and Peter looked at each other and moved away.

"Give him our best!" Remus called behind them as they walked down the stairs again.

"How long have you known." She sniffled and Sirius laughed.

"I've known that you two were together since about a second after it happened. And I knew you liked him since before you knew. Before you ask," He continued as Lily made a noise as if to start to speak. "James didn't tell us, we just knew. He was happier than he has been for a while now. And we noticed him become more miserable – even if he pretends not to be. Come on, let's go and see if the idiot has come round yet." Sirius took Lily by the hand and the two of them walked inside and to the bed where James lay where they sat together beside him.

"So why did you break up?" He asked. "Clearly it was nothing to do with your feelings for him, and I'm fairly sure that his haven't changed."

"It had everything to do with my feelings." Lily mumbled but she didn't have to explain as James happened to groan as he came around at this very point. "James, how are you?" She grabbed onto his hand and he smiled.

"I thought I must have been hallucinating on the pitch, what happened to what you said two weeks ago?"

"I don't know. I saw you fall on the quidditch pitch and it all just kind of happened. I don't want to pretend that my feelings don't exist anymore. But for all of the reasons I explained, I totally understand if you don't-"

"Lily." James squeezed her hand. "I still don't care. I want you and I don't care about anything else."

Lily leant over the bed and kissed him, it was light at first but then the feelings the pair had subdued for a fortnight resurfaced and it became much more than that. After a couple of moments, Sirius cleared his throat and the couple fell apart; still holding one another's hands.

"As beautiful and romantic as this all is, can I just remind you that I am here to make sure my best friend is ok, and it's hard to do that when his face is blocked by a mass of red hair." His tone suggested a small amount of genuine annoyance but this was overshadowed by his jokey nature and the fact that he was, after all, happy to see these two together at last.

"Sorry." James and Lily mumbled but with grins still plastered on their faces.

"How's your head?" Lily asked him, trying to change the subject a bit.

"Sore. Feels like someone hit a ball at it." He laughed, rubbing it slightly and wincing.

After several minutes of chatting Sirius decided that it was time to go so that Peter and Remus could come in and say hello. Lily gave James another, much shorter, kiss and left with him. They met the boys on the staircase that led down to the seventh floor and told them they could go in, to which they nodded and hurried off. Sirius and Lily arrived back in the common room that was in the midst of a celebration of the winning of the first match. The party, however, stopped when they entered and the house crowded around Sirius and Lily to find out how James was doing.

"He's fine, Madam Pomfrey says he can come out tomorrow morning." Lily felt like she had said this at least a hundred times and excused herself to go to bed. She slept with the biggest smile on her face and she did it better than she had done in weeks.

Although Lily woke early for a Sunday the next day, she didn't feel half as tired as she had during the week. She hummed to herself as she dressed and washed ready for the day and then wandered upstairs to meet James – as she had promised she would do the previous night. He was released on time and simply told to 'take it easy' for a few days as his injury was not too serious. He told Lily this almost as soon as he came out of the hospital wing – before she even managed to ask how he was. James then took Lily's hand and led her upstairs towards the astronomy tower which was deserted.

James looked at her. He looked at her curiously and slowly reached out for her hand, which she took willingly. It was clear that he was trying to gauge her feelings for him – i.e. whether or not she regretted yesterday. Lily could tell that something was wrong and also knew that, whilst it was going on inside his head, it had nothing to do with his injury.

"What's wrong?" She asked, stopping in the alcove where they had sat together only a few short weeks ago when Remus was in the hospital.

"It's just strange. Are you sure you want this? You seemed dead set against it a couple of weeks ago, and as noble as you might have said your reasons were, it makes me wonder if they were reasons or excuses."

"James." Lily started, she could see the pain in his face and realised that his feelings really must be strong for him to be affected like this. This hadn't been her intention, she had never meant for him to get hurt, but rather, she aimed to protect him. "I promise that I was only trying to protect you. It broke my heart. But, as long as you are willing to accept the dangers that may occur because of being with me, I swear that this is what I want." Lily placed her hand over James' heart. She could feel the warmth of his skin through his shirt.

James took her hand off of his chest and kissed every one of her fingers before wrapping her arm around his waist and pulling her closer in. Lily could feel his breath on her face and could hear the mingled sounds of both of their breaths and hearts – which were beating profusely.

"I want you, Lily." James whispered so that only she would be able to hear him. He kissed her fiercely, as if to let her know that he would never willingly let her go. Lily moved her hands up to his neck; to his hair as she pulled him closer in, as if to reply and let him know that she never wanted him to leave her.

"Love comes with dangers – no matter who it is – and I am glad that our danger is one we can face together. One we would both face anyway." He told her as they broke apart.

"Come here James." Lily said trying to rub off some of the lip-gloss that had ended up smeared around his lips but he moved away.

"No, you're not getting rid of my evidence." He told her and grabbed her hand to led her back towards the common room. Lily laughed and grabbed hold of his hand with both of hers as they walked back.

It was no surprise to anyone in the common room – as the majority had seen Lily's display of affection at the match yesterday and those who hadn't had almost certainly heard about it – that Lily and James came in together, holding hands. When they entered, Lily noticed James beginning a slight swagger with the eyes of most of Gryffindor house (who were inside due to the cold rain outside) as they walked towards his friends by the window of the left side of the tower. Without a word, he sat himself down on one of the armchairs and pulled Lily down so that she was sat on his knee. She rolled her eyes but was secretly smiling as James put his arms around her to stop her falling off – and so that he could embrace her again – and simply stared at his friends who simply laughed slightly.

"So you've claimed James for your own then?" Sirius stated, with mock annoyance in his voice.

"You know it." James said not even allowing Lily to answer. Instead, she simply laughed and leaned back against him. She was finally comfortable and happy so the sleep she had ignored for weeks came back all at once and she fell asleep on James' shoulder.

 **Yay. New chapter. Hope you all enjoyed it, please review – I love reading them! And I'll see you all next time (hopefully not as long a wait)** **\- Chescaannie xx**


	7. Chapter 7

The air was cool, even for mid-November and the brisk wind whipped around the ground sending flurries of red, orange and brown leaves into the air before floating back down to the ground to be crunched underneath the feet of a horde of teenagers thundering down the stone steps from the imposing castle on the hill towards the snow-topped village of Hogsmeade.

Sirius had made sure that his friends had been up early enough to wolf down some breakfast and then start the queue to leave for the village and he was lucky enough to have the sort of friends that were quite happy to do as they were told, however much they also moaned about getting up early. Sirius and Peter were now having an animated discussion – not argument as Remus had been told several times– about whether to go to Honeyduke's or Zonko's first.

"Honeyduke's will be busy!" Argued Peter.

"So will Zonko's!" Sirius retorted, "The whole of Hogsmeade will be busy. The only time it isn't is when the whole of Hogwarts _isn't_ coming down for their mid-term sugar and joke fix."

"We're going to both so it doesn't _really_ matter, does it?" Remus complained, he had been hearing about this pretty much since the notice had gone up on the common room board about a week ago. Neither of them took the slightest bit of notice of him, however, and the argument resumed.

"Honeyduke's is on our way into town, we can work up the street and stop half-way for some lunch at the three broomsticks." Sirius explained to him.

"Everyone does that. It's the average route. We should go the other way down from Zonko's and hit Honeyduke's last when they're selling everything off!"

"That's a myth Peter, it's sugar – it doesn't go off so they don't sell it cheap for a while." Remus told him.

James shook his head and leaned towards Lily's ear. He no longer cared about where they went – as long as he went there with her.

"Shall we sneak off and go to Madam Puddifoot's for lunch instead?" Lily smiled and nodded in agreement. It was the regular date place for Hogwarts students and, although she had gone with friends a few times when they had had dates there, Lily had never been with someone whom she considered her boyfriend.

By the time the group made it into town, Peter had managed to argue his point well enough and they headed straight up the road towards the joke shop. As large pranksters, the group always enjoyed the shop and took great pride wandering around and reminiscing about past jokes or planning new ones. During their discussions, Lily managed to get away from the group and hid herself away in a far corner of the shop looking at gift boxes they sold. Although it was a month away, Lily wanted to get James something great for Christmas. She knew he loved jokes – everyone in the school knew that – but she wanted to get him something that would show that she _truly_ knew him, in a way that was different to everyone else. She was still pondering them when she felt someone cover her eyes.

"Guess who?" James jeered. It was so obviously him and Lily just laughed.

"I don't know. Hmmm, can I have a clue?"

"It's your boyfriend!"

"Which one?" Lily joked. James removed his hands and Lily turned around to kiss him lightly.

"Come on lovebirds, it's time for lunch!" Sirius called from the front of the shop. James and Lily jogged to catch them up as they left the shop.

"It's only eleven!" James pointed out.

"We're trying to miss the rush!" Peter called as the group sped off towards the Three Broomsticks. Lily noticed Remus roll his eyes at this.

"Madam Puddifoot's?" James asked Lily. She took him in for a moment before replying. James had been with his friends for over five years and had been neglecting them slightly over the past month that they had been together.

"No, come on. Let's go to the Three Broomsticks with everyone else." A smile swept over James' face as Lily said this. He threw an arm around her shoulders and pulled her closer into him as they walked behind the three boys. Lily knew she had made the right decision – she wouldn't be the girlfriend that breaks apart the group of friends and James would still want to spend time with her.

Lunch was nice as the loud group of five laughed and told stories – many of which seemed to be stories about James that made him cringe and he sometimes whispered in Lily's ear to make sure she still liked him even though he had once managed to get his nose and mouth stuck in a box of Bertie Bott's Every Flavour Beans.

Peter had been right and the pub was much quieter than it had been when Lily had previously visited, however, the group stayed for so long that even the huge lunch rush was beginning to think about leaving. The gang walked out of the cosy pub and down the street towards Honeyduke's colourful windows filled with every kind of sweet you can imagine.

Inside were boxes of every flavour beans: mixed, devilish delight (which boasted that it was filled with only the most horrible flavours such as earwax and vomit), Cowardly Candy (which had a 100% guarantee of none of the flavours in the Devilish Delight box); as well as boxes of fudge; lollipops; chocolate frogs; cauldron cakes; and everything else imaginable.

Lily was glad that she hadn't spent any of the money she had for James' Christmas in Zonko's when she found 'The Cleansweeter 6' which was a play on James' broomstick and was filled with beans, frogs, fudge, most things in the shop really. Whilst he was distracted by some revolting looking sweets in one corner. Lily quietly paid her three galleons and hid it away in the bag. She also got some beans, fudge, and her favourite cauldron cakes for herself.

Once the boys had bought a few things from the shop, they headed back towards the castle before it got too dark and cold to do anything else. It was a relief to return to the Gryffindor common room (which was much quieter than usual due to the lack of third-seventh years who were still out at Hogsmeade) where there was a roaring fire waiting for them.

After leaving her things in her room, Lily grabbed her books, parchment, quill and some ink and headed back downstairs to make a start on some of the homework that was beginning to pile up. She sat on the floor in front of James and near enough to Remus that they could help each other with the essay – as they seemed to be the only two planning on doing any sort of work today – and tried but failed to ignore the jokes and stories of the boys and often ended up joining in with a funny anecdote or being distracted by a sudden kiss on the head from James (although this mainly only happened to Lily) and soon enough t was time for dinner.

The spread for dinner looked delicious and the whole group seemed glad they had had a lighter lunch than usual when they saw the minced-pork pies, mashed potato and chicken. By the time they left they were more than ready to turn in for the night with food babies making them sleepy.

"Hey Lily!" Someone shouted from across the entrance hall. It was Severus.

"What do you want, Sev?" Lily asked, she couldn't be bothered with his insults right now but she also couldn't quite be bothered to ignore him which was more work than it seemed.

"Just wondering if you wanted to meet in the library tomorrow to work on that essay for Slughorn, I know you aren't brilliant at antidotes so I thought I could help." Lily rolled her eyes, he was always quite happy to point out that she was bad at something but could never admit that there were some things in potions that she was better than him at.

"Actually, Remus and I just finished that essay." Lily lied. It wasn't a total lie, they were almost done but she didn't want to spend any more time than was absolutely necessary with Severus.

"I can help you with it if you like." Remus shrugged. Lily wasn't sure if it was the fact that there was five of them and one of him, or if it was simply the fact that Remus was almost a foot taller than Severus, but he looked intimidating.

"Oh, no. It's fine. Just wanted to make sure you weren't struggling without my help."

"Goodnight." Lily said decisively. Apparently, Severus had decided to insult her on her intelligence when he was bored of her blood status. Whatever, she was fed up of it as, whilst that exchange wasn't exactly as mean and horrible as some of the others they'd had, it also wasn't like the ones she'd had with the boys that she'd only been close with for two months. Quality over quantity, good friends for two months trumps eight years of insults every time.

The next day was much of the same. Working/chatting with her friends (who had decided that their NEWTS were important and so were actually going to be productive today) and so the five of them sat in the library surrounded by all the books they could carry and made notes. Madam Pince almost died of shock when she saw them all as she had been ready to throw James and Sirius out because of the way they usually behaved, but to find them working. It was strange for everyone.

"You're a good influence on them, girl. Keep it up!" She had whispered to Lily as she walked past. Lily smiled at this.

By the time Monday morning arrived, Lily was more than ready to start the new week with her work up to date and her life on track. She and Remus walked down to the dungeons for potions where they had to make antidotes for a potion given to them by Slughorn. Lily was delighted when she realised that she had made the second best in the class, with Remus in front, and Severus was much further down the list.

Transfiguration was another great lesson as, with James' help, she managed to transfigure her mouse into a quill and back again in record time – even if it was a lot slower than James'. This meant an awful lot to Lily as it proved to her that she could balance her social life and her work life – no matter what her parents told her about "focusing on work" in their letters. She was also glad that as much as James was helping her, she could help him. In charms, for example, she showed him the correct way to perform the giddiness charm until they were both on the floor with laughter.

That was the way it went for that whole week, in fact the rest of the term was great. The hardest part of it was a few weeks later when they had to say goodbye to see their families for Christmas.

 **I promise promise promise it won't be as long next time. I'm sorry life caught up with me and I've been neglecting all my writing. Please review, I will see you all next time – Chescaannie x**


	8. Chapter 8

**Yay! I made it back. Please read and review!**

The snow was falling heavily over the mountains and hills that surrounded the castle and in the distance, the roofs of the houses of the people of Hogsmede were becoming dusted with white flakes. The reds and golds of the Gryffindor common room offered a direct contrast to the cold world outside with a roaring fire and cosy chairs all around the circular room. The room was silent now, but students were slowly beginning to trickle in with their large trunks that were creating a pile in the corner to be taken down to the carriages heading towards Hogsmede Station and the Hogwarts Express.

It was a time of mixed emotions in the castle as many were excited to be returning home for the first time in over three months, but were also upset about the prospect of leaving the friends that had become like family to them, for the next two weeks. Some students were unable to go home at this time and watched in envy from the long tables in the great hall as their friends rushed their breakfasts and prepared to leave.

Lily, James, Peter, Remus, and Sirius were all leaving today and were saying goodbye to one another. The boys were used to being away from each other at this time as five years of friendship would suggest – and the fact that Sirius would be going to stay with James made it much easier this year for the friends who were like brothers – but Lily and James were not used to being away from each other for more than a few hours during their relationship, and as such were unwilling to leave each other's side that entire morning.

In fact, they had met up much earlier than usual, eaten breakfast quickly and then gone for a last minute walk around the grounds – despite the freezing temperature. They stopped on a hill beside the lake to exchange their gifts for Christmas (although Lily was adamant that neither should open them until Christmas day the next week) and enough love to get them through the next two weeks. It would seem strange to the majority of couples that it had taken them two months to exchange addresses for letters but they had not needed them before being separated in this way. There was one issue – Lily did not have an owl – and so they had drawn up a schedule that involved James sending a letter as soon as he got home and then Lily sending one, and the pair continuing like this for the duration of the holidays (with James' poor owl taking a day or two to recuperate when he arrived back home). And after a few hours of discussion, tears, love, excitement, and almost ever emotion on the spectrum, the pair was ready to leave.

The met James' friends at the gates to Hogwarts that were guarded by stone hogs upon high pillars on either side of the gate, and the group began to follow the stream of students heading towards the station at the bottom of the hill. Once aboard the scarlet train, they found a compartment towards the back that was completely empty and put down bags that they had carried on separate from their luggage. Lily and Remus then waved goodbye to their friends for now and left to head to the prefects' carriage for the standard meeting.

After the meeting, the pair spent ten minutes patrolling the corridor before heading back to the compartment that contained James, Sirius, and Peter.

"How was prefect duty?" James asked as they walked through the door, Lily rolled her eyes at him and flopped down on the bench beside him and throwing her legs over the top of his. "Not fun, huh?"

"Being a prefect is much more about telling first-years to stop running in the corridors than you'd expect." Lily complained, the time they'd spent on duty had not been interesting and the twenty minutes they'd been on patrol seemed to last forever

"That's why I've spent the past five and a half years showing Dumbledore that I am not prefect material." James laughed.

"I would like to know how Moony ended up with the job, though." Sirius teased, getting a sideways glare from Remus who already had a book out of his bag.

"Maybe he's supposed to keep you lot in line." Lily giggled, receiving a joking smack from James and a gasp from Sirius.

"New years' party at mine?" Sirius decided, looking around the room at the faces of his friends who smiled and nodded.

"By yours you mean mine, I'm assuming. Or are we all going to go and see the ancient house of black?" James asked, he was joking but wanted to make sure he wouldn't be seeing Sirius' mother who had not been fond off James on the few occasions they had met.

"Hey, what's yours is mine. That's what friends are for!"

Remus and Lily left a few minutes before the train pulled into King's Cross station to help with the logistics of a couple of hundred students leaving a train onto a relatively small platform and then make sure they left for the muggle station in small groups - even muggles may notice a hoard of teenagers running out of a wall. James, Peter, and Sirius were the last to go through the wall before Lily, Remus and the rest of the prefects joined them.

The boys refused to hug each other goodbye, although they did each hug Lily in turn and James gave her a long goodbye kiss, promising to write as soon as he got home. He and Sirius walked towards a couple who embraced them both and waved to the others before they left. Peter spotted his parents next, both small and a little round, who again embraced their son. Remus and Lily walked away towards the board which showed all the trains leaving that day as both had to get another train that would take them closer to home where their parents would meet them. They embraced, said their goodbyes and then Lily walked towards platform eleven and Remus platform three.

Lily was picked up from the train by her father, a man about the same height as Lily with her brilliant auburn hair (although much shorter and thinner than Lily's) who embraced her in a close hug before picking up her trunk and leading her to the car that was parked outside to take them home. Lily's house was a modern semi-detached house at the end of a small street just inside the village where they lived.

Lily's mother came out of the house in an apron and enclosed her youngest daughter in a close hug and led her into the house with her father carrying the bags behind her. In the living room sat Lily's sister Petunia, and whom Lily assumed was her boyfriend. Whilst Lily looked very much like her father, with his eyes and hair, Petunia looked very much like their mother: both were tall, blonde, and slim.

"Hiya, Tuney. Did you miss me?" She asked. Another way that the sisters were opposites was in their personalities; whilst Lily was bright and positive, Petunia was much more 'down to earth' (in her words) and so did not approve of Lily's 'abnormality'. She smiled slightly at her sister's arrival but did not show the enthusiasm that Lily had.

"Hello, Lily. How was school?" She raised her eyebrows and glared at Lily. Petunia was well aware of the fact that Lily was not allowed to talk about most aspects of her school in front of this stranger.

"It's been great! Although, being prefect isn't as good as I'd thought!" She laughed.

"You still hanging out with that wierdo from down the road?"

"Sev? No, we fell out a while ago now. I mainly hang out with my boyfriend, James, and his friends. How's the new job going?"

"Oh, it's great. This is my manager, Vernon Dudley, we started going out not long after you left for school so it only seemed right that I invited him over since he's practically family." From the looks on her parent's faces, this was not an agreed statement.

"And yet he's not…" Lily muttered before walking upstairs to her room.

 **I have another part of this chapter coming but I promised a week so here you go! Please review – Chescaannie :) xx**


	9. Chapter 9

Lily tried her best to get on with Vernon Dursely, as she hoped her sister would with James, but failed catastrophically as no matter what she did, it was clear he hated her. Of course he never said the words out loud (probably because it would be an incredibly rude thing to do in front of your girlfriend's family) but his attitude made it obvious. For example, when her mother asked Lily about school – and Lily tried to be vague about what she was studying because she would live the rest of her life without telling this man any more about herself than he needed to know i.e that she was Petunia's sister – Vernon looked at Petunia and the pair shared a sly smile and they seemed to be trying to supress a laugh. Then the interrogation started.

"So what school are you at, Lily?" He asked.

"St. Helen's high." I answered, an answer I had learned at a young age when I had to tell my friends from primary why I wouldn't be joining them at either the local comprehensive school or the grammar.

"And you're doing A-levels, yes?" I nodded.

"Chemistry, history, biology, and English." She had always just chosen four random subjects because she was fairly sure saying she studied potions, charms, transfiguration, etc. would be the same as admitting she was a witch.

After every question, Vernon looked as though he as trying to supress a laugh – it was as if he knew she was lying through her teeth. But there was no way he could know, Petunia wouldn't have told him, surely.

"As much fun as hearing about your non-freak life is, why don't you just admit the truth? Vernon already knows so stop trying to pretend you aren't the little freak we all know you are."

There was a long moment of silence around the table as we all stared at my sister who had told a man I had never met my secret. She had essentially broken the law just to make Lily feel even worse than she did.

"Excuse me." Lily said quietly before leaving the room. She needed to talk to someone about this – about what she should do. Whilst she would prefer to talk to James, correspondence through letters was not as quick as face-to-face talking with someone and there was only one non-muggle that she knew around her that she could talk to.

Severus' house was dark and foreboding. Although it sat in between two perfectly ordinary looking houses, it looked very different and it would come to no surprise to anyone that Severus was a wizard who practised dark magic. Lily touched the cold silver knocker on the door in the shape of a snake. A shiver of fear went through her, Lily and Severus' relationship was hardly amicable at the moment – although she was confident that it would be better away from the influence of his death-eater friends.

Lily could hear the shouts coming from inside the house as someone made their way to the door. She prayed for Severus. As she had married a muggle, Severus' mother – Eileen – had nothing really against muggles and muggle-borns such as herself but this didn't stop Lily being terrified of the couple who never seemed to be able to stop fighting. Eventually, the door opened and a pale boy with contrastingly black hair (which made him look even paler) stood in front of her. His eyes lit up when he saw her and immediately shut the front door so as to lessen the shouts that had gotten considerably louder.

"I need to talk to you." Lily told him. Her voice wasn't filled with the anger that it had been the last time she had spoken to him but it still had none of the love that had been there when the pair had been children.

"Are you ok Lil?" He asked as they walked away from the house and along the river into the cover of the trees.

"Petunia has a new boyfriend. And pretty much the only thing he knows about me is that I'm a witch."

"You told him?" There was a mix of anger and fear in his voice. "You've been told so many times not to tell anyone who doesn't need to know – it's against the statue of secrecy!" He hissed.

"I didn't tell him!" She shouted. "I may be a mudblood but I'm not an idiot, believe it or not!" She said in a quieter voice.

"Don't call yourself that Lily, and I know you're not an idiot. And why do you care, you can't get in trouble for something your sister did and now he knows that you're better than him too"

"I'm proud of who I am, Sev. The witch and the muggle. But Petunia decided she wanted more people on her side – more people on the anti-freak side, therefore he doesn't exactly see me as better than him, but worse like Petunia does."

"This is why we should keep ourselves separate from them." He said under his breath but Lily heard him.

"You know, if you and Petunia spent a little more time together you'd realise just how much you have in common. You both think I'm a freak." She shouted. "I'm fed up of me trying to connect with you, trying to be my friend and then you just insulting me. This time I'm done. I give up with you Severus Snape." She stormed off, heading back home. He could hear Severus shouting after her but she meant it. She glanced down at her arm and saw the light scar that still existed there and wondered why she had ever thought to trust him. As hard as it might be with a few hundred miles between them, James would be a much better confidant and friend.

The door slammed behind her as she walked straight upstairs and into the warmth of her bedroom. It was only now that she realised how cold she had been outside in the middle of December with nothing more than a jumper and jeans. Why hadn't she thought to take a cot? Lily soon realised the exact reason why the wizarding world had kept fireplaces instead of central heating: nothing beats coming in from the freezing cold to warming up beside a roaring fire.

James' owl was napping on the windowsill, having dropped off his short and sweet letter pretty much just saying that he was safe and couldn't wait to hear from her. He had also apologized for it being so short but how much can happen in a couple of hours. She laughed at that and then wrote her reply.

 _Funny you should ask that James._

 _So much has happened since I saw you less than twelve hours ago that I barely know where to start. I came home to my sister's boyfriend sat in my living room, soon discovered that he didn't like me and then realised it was because Petunia had told him I was a freak; she had told him that I was a witch. I spoke to Severus (even though I know you don't like him) and now I have realised that he isn't going to change and we will never be friends again. I miss you so much and I can't wait to see you either._

 _All my love,_

 _Lily x_

Lily folded the note and wrote his name on the front before giving the owl a few owl nuts that she had had James give her for him and then the letter. She watched the owl fly away into the almost pitch-black sky and hoped he would return soon with something from James.

Lily yawned and crawled into bed, covering herself with her gold and scarlet scarf that reminded her of Hogwarts; of James, her friends and her life where she was truly accepted by everyone.

 **I'm sorry it's late! I enjoyed writing this chapter and hope you enjoyed reading it. Please review! – Chescaannie x**


	10. Chapter 10

Lily tried to keep away from her sister and her boyfriend as much as possible and her parents did their best to stop him from coming over all the time – they too were cross that petunia had essentially broken the statue of secrecy for no real reason and they, too, were fed up of the glares and snide looks shared between the couple whenever they saw Lily.

"He's not coming on Christmas day!" Lily's mother exclaimed to her daughter. Lily could hear the two of them arguing downstairs from her bedroom. "Christmas should be spent with family – Lily's not running off to see her boyfriend tomorrow!"

"Vernon is pretty much family-"

"He is not!"

"We're getting married!" Petunia shouted, silencing her mother with three words. "He asked me last week and I said yes. I wanted him to meet Lily before we told anyone."

"So that's something you'll keep a secret. You won't tell your family that you're engaged but you'll tell a man who is almost a stranger about your sister – breaking one of the most sacred laws of her world."

"He wasn't a stranger when I told him. I didn't want him to marry me without him knowing the truth – the whole truth. So I told him about Lily's affliction and, thankfully, he understood that I'm not like her. I'm not a freak."

"Your sister. Is. Not. A. Freak!" Mrs Evans shouted so loud that she wouldn't be surprised if James could hear her a few hundred miles away at Godric's Hollow. It was the same argument again and again – even with this strange twist that Lily hadn't seen coming. Petunia would say that Vernon was coming for Christmas, call Lily a freak and their mother would get angry. The only thing Lily had been able to do recently to calm herself was talking to James.

 _I'm getting fed up of this_ , she wrote, _mum and Petunia are arguing again about me. Trying to decide if I'm a freak or not. She's decided now that she's marrying that Vernon man. I don't know why – he's horrible. But, then again, he thinks I'm a freak too. I can't wait to see you again James. Another ten days and we'll be back at Hogwarts and I can be myself again. Endless nights in front of the fire in the common room, laughing, joking, and other stuff…_

 _Am I still alright to come down for New Year's Eve? Mum says it's fine as long as your mum agrees and I really want to meet your parents! Hope you and Sirius are having a better time than I am._

 _All my love,_

 _Lily x_

She put the letter in an envelope addressed to James and put some owl nits on top of it. When James sent his owl later it would probably eat the nuts, pick up the letter and drop off James' – a system that they seemed to have subconsciously figured out.

The shouting stopped after the front door slammed as Petunia left the house – presumably heading to Vernon's house – and so Lily decided it was safe to go downstairs again. She found her mother in the kitchen stirring a pot of mince. The smells were filling the house and it smelled amazing as she added the vegetables to the meat. She smiled at her as Lily walked into the kitchen.

"Hey Lil. Do you want to make a start on the dumplings, four big ones or eight small ones?" She said, Lily smiled and began helping her mother with the dinner. She used to do this all the time when she was little (although help was more like get in the way) and she spent most of her holidays doing it since she had started Hogwarts.

"So, what's it like not having to cook?" Her mother asked. Lily laughed.

"I've never had to cook, not with you around! The food at school is really nice but there's nothing like good old mince and dumplings on a cold winter's night. Obviously, I've not been there for Christmas but I've been told it's great, I mean, Hallowe'en is amazing so, how can it not be?" Lily's mother was always very interested in her school and her world in a more vocal way than her father and a more positive way than her sister.

"So is Vernon coming tomorrow?" Lily asked tentatively.

"No. I will turn him away if he appears and Petunia knows that. She can go out with him after dinner but until then it is family time. Between you being at school and Petunia being at work, we get very little time as a family – it's important that we cherish it." There was an awkward silence as both relayed the rest of the argument. "Don't listen to your sister. You're perfect just the way you are and she loves you for it." Lily disagreed with this but didn't want to spark another argument so she just smiled and nodded.

There was a clatter upstairs closely followed by a small squawk. "That's James. I'll be back in a minute; I just need to check on his stupid bird."

Lily walked into her bedroom to find two owls arguing over the few owl nuts she had left out only expecting one. She gave them a confused look but nonetheless grabbed a few more nuts out of the box that James had given her. Satisfied, James' owl picked up the letter and flew to a makeshift perch on the wall. Clearly it had been told to expect an answer as well as a letter. She stroked the other owl lightly on the head which was a light brown tawny owl. It put out its leg so that Lily could get the note with Lily scrawled across it.

 _Lily,_

 _I'm sorry. Please forgive me I need one more chance._

 _Your Friend,_

 _Sev._

Lily shook her head and flipped it over to reply – it wasn't going to be long enough to justify a fresh piece of parchment.

 _One more chance? Just one? Because I feel like you have had at least five 'one more chances' since September! I came to you because I was struggling and you still just insulted me. I give up with you._

She didn't bother signing it but handed it back to the bird who flew off. Severus would have the note within a few minutes. She turned to the thicker piece of parchment that had been left on her desk by James' bird.

 _Lil,_

 _Sorry you're having such a bad time but you've got your parents and you don't need anyone who doesn't see how amazing you are. I'm fine, doing great here as is Sirius, miss you but will be seeing you very soon._

 _It's family day tomorrow for Christmas but mum and dad want to invite you for Boxing day if you're up for it? Dad says we can come get you from your house at about ten on Monday and we'll be travelling by flue – there's a few chimneys not far from you. Hope to see you soon,_

 _James x_

After asking her mother quickly who gave a slightly reluctant 'yes' she added it to her original letter as a P.S. and the bird flew off.

The next morning was Christmas and Lily woke up bright and early to take her small bundle of presents downstairs to the tree which already had a fair amount surrounding it. Her parents soon followed her down and then Petunia joined them as well.

From her parents, Lily got a few things she had asked for: a small record player, a Beatle's album (revolver) and some school things. Petunia gave her nothing for school but instead gave her a black hat and pair of gloves. James' package that he had given her turned out to be a beautiful necklace with a golden lion on, making her present of sweets seem a little tacky. She had gotten her mother a box of chocolate cauldrons from Honeydukes, her father a nice quill and ink (he had always been jealous of her for using these), and her sister a chocolate frog and a box of beans.

As soon as Petunia opened the frog box and saw it hopping around a little and Albus Dumbledore moving around in his frame, she shut it again and thrust it back at her. She did the same with the beans. Lily sighed. She had thought that Petunia would enjoy chocolate and jelly beans from any world but apparently not. Petunia stormed off a little after that when Lily handed round the beans and Petunia refused one. Lily tried not to let it bother her and instead tried to focus on her mother's face when she picked an earwax flavoured bean after being lulled into a false sense of security with her husband's strawberry bean.

Normally the whole family worked together to get under each other's feet as they all tried to help with the turkey and the rest of the dinner but this year Petunia refused. It was clear that her plan was to stay away from Lily until she was allowed to see her "'fiancfiancé' after dinner.

Dinner was delicious (as it was every year) with the turkey moist and easy to pull off the bone, the pigs in blanket beautifully crispy, and the roast potatoes perfect. It was better than the Hogwarts food because she was with her parents (although she imagined the actual food would be much the same). And once they had had a small piece of the Christmas cake – which had been cut into small squares – Petunia left. It was only three in the afternoon by this point so Lily and her parents sat down for a good old game of Monopoly.

They all went up to bed at about ten at night after the game had left Lily's father bankrupt, her mother owning only Mayfair and Park Lane (although the hotel she had on each property had taken a lot of everyone else's money) and Lily owning several properties of each colour. It was clear that her father had lost the game and her mother managed to win by £1000 which she went on about until they were all in bed.

Petunia didn't come home that night and she still wasn't back in the morning which Lily thought odd and not at all what she would have expected from her sister. Lily was too nervous to think about this, however, as she was meeting James' parents for the first time and didn't know what to take. With the shops being closed on Christmas Eve's evening, Christmas day, and Boxing day, she had not had chance to buy any flowers for his mother so she hoped they would both enjoy the wine her father had found in the garage then the three of them sat on the couch in the living room and waited. It seemed as though they were as nervous to meet James as she was to meet his parents.

Finally, there was a knock at the door and Lily jumped up. Her father stood and motioned for her to sit down again as he went to open the door. Lily found it hard to contain her laughter as she watched her father try to seem intimidating even though he was actually smaller than him. After a couple of minutes James was shown through to the living room where he frantically looked for Lily. His brown eyes lit up when he saw her and quickly embraced her.

"You're wearing my necklace!" He exclaimed excitedly holding the pendant that hung around her neck.

"Of course, I love it. Thank you so much!" She kissed him lightly on the cheek – very conscious of the fact that two of her parents and one of his were in the room and just hoped that she would be able to thank him better later.

Lily gave Mr Potter the bag containing the wine once she had been introduced to James' father and greeted with a smile and a pat on the shoulder. Then she said goodbye to her parents and they watched them leave from the door. It turned out that Fleamont (James' father) had a good friend who lived in the next town over from Cokeworth and they walked quickly towards it, taking just over half an hour.

The wizard said hello at the door and showed them through to the living room but said very little to any of them. Lily honestly wasn't sure if they really were friends but trusted James and therefore trusted his father. A few minutes later and they arrived in the living room of James' house in Godric's Hollow.

It was a bright and homely room, Lily imagined it must be lovey with a fire blazing in the fireplace as this was something she wished she had at home instead of the little gas one they had where it had probably once been. The wallpaper was a golden colour with aspects of the scarlet Gryffindor red. Lily was fairly sure that James came from a family of Gryffindors and this was why it was decorated like this.

Euphemia Potter came over and introduced herself straight away. Lily noticed that she had the same kind eyes that James had (although he definitely had his father's hair). His mother had lighter, longer, more tame hair – although there was still a lot of it. She and Fleamont left the room and for a second Lily thought they might have a moment alone but then another boy came through the door, with long dark hair. He walked across the room and shook Lily's hand sternly.

"I'm Sirius. If you hurt my James, I swear I will kill you." He said. Lily rolled her eyes and hugged him instead. He looked slightly taken aback at this but soon hugged her back. They broke apart a second later when James cleared his throat.

"Y' know," Lily turned to him, smiling, "I don't even know which one of us you're jealous of." She laughed.

"It's obviously you. He wanted that hug with me." Sirius stated, hugging James like he would a brother.

They broke apart after a longer time than Sirius had hugged Lily and then James put his arm around her shoulders. He kissed her lightly on the forehead.

"Thanks for the present by the way!" He said, no sense of irony in his voice.

"Yeah, I know it was a little silly but-"

"Anything from Honeydukes is good." James shrugged. "And anything from you is even better." He looked straight into her eyes. "Sirius go away." He said without looking away and after a moment they heard a sigh and the door shutting.

Lily stood up on her tiptoes and kissed him (on the lips this time). "Thank you again." She said as she wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed him again. The pair had about five minutes of privacy before Mrs Potter called them through for dinner which consisted of cold turkey, cold gammon ham, and boiled potatoes. It was delicious and she loved spending time with them chatting and playing exploding snap after dinner with them all but all too soon it was time to head home. Lily hugged Sirius and Euphemia again, before she left through the fireplace with James and Fleamont.

Fleamont decided to wait at his 'friend's house' allowing James and Lily a half an hour walk by themselves. It was dark but neither was particularly scared.

"Do you promise you will keep your wand on you at all times?" He asked her. She patted her bag.

"Not sure if it's allowed but I won't use it unless I have to." She told him.

"Do you want me to come hex that Vernon guy?" Lily laughed.

"James, I swear I will do it myself if he tries anything!"

"I know you can, but I would quite like to do it too."

"Fine, we'll do it together, I'll send an owl of a time and place when we're ready." She laughed. Then they spotted Vernon and Petunia walking up the street towards the house from the other side and stopped laughing. The other couple seemed to do the same. Lily put on a smile.

"Tuny, this is James. James this is my sister Petunia and her boyfriend Vernon. Before you ask, sis, yes, he's just like me." Lily answered before Petunia could even open her mouth.

"Actually, I'm nothing like her. She's about a hundred times better than me." He smiled, a twinkle in his eye as he looked at Lily.

Both couples said goodnight and the sister's walked into the house. Neither said anything to the other and Petunia walked straight upstairs to bed. Lily chose to go into the living room and recount her day to her parents. It had been a long day and so they all ended up going to bed not long after Lily came in.

Upstairs, Lily found another note on her bed with just ' _I'm Sorry'_ written on it. It was clearly from Severus but she was honestly fed up of it – what was the point in trying anymore. She took the parchment and crumpled it up into a ball before throwing it out of her bedroom window. She watched as it flew over the garden fence and landed in the garden of a neighbour. Part of her felt bad for littering but the other part was too tired and fed up of _him_ to care.

 **Long wait, I know. I'm sorry. I have been on placement for the past two weeks – leaving at six and not getting in until six in the evening so it's been kind of hectic and I wanted to do a good job of this. I think I have? I tried my best anyway. Please review – I love to read them and I hope to see you next time (can't decide between doing a new Year's Eve party at the Potter's and just skipping it so they can get back to Hogwarts.) – Chescaannie xx**


	11. Chapter 11

"Happy new year, Lily." James whispered against Lily's lips.

"Happy new year." She replied just before he kissed her.

Despite the hordes of people around them that were shouting and singing Auld Lang Syne it felt like they were completely alone in this moment; that it was theirs and theirs alone. That is, until Sirius jumped on James' back – completely ruining the moment.

"Come on, I came stag because you promised me a hot babe!" He complained.

"No, I said that _I wasn't_ going stag this year _because_ I have a…" He glanced down at Lily who was giving her a questioning look. "beautiful girlfriend." She smiled. _Right answer_ she thought. "There's loads of girls here Padfoot, just talk to them!" Just then Sirius spotted Remus out of the corner of his eye.

"MOONY!" He shouted across the room. He sped off towards him, pushing everyone that was between them out the way. James shook his head and smiled at Lily.

"Come on." He said, taking her hand and leading the way to the garden.

This was the first time she had seen the beautiful garden but she was amazed by it. James led her towards a small bench underneath a tree that was filled with twinkling lights. They sat there in silence, just the sound of the music and chattering in the house that seemed so far away from them.

"I love you, you know." He told her. Lily smiled and nodded.

"I know, I love you too." It wasn't the first time they'd said it – in fact it had been a lot earlier on in their relationship than most would say it – but the words still made Lily's heart flutter and they seemed as important as they had that first time.

"I feel bad because I've been keeping something from you." He admitted. Lily closed her eyes – dreading what it could be. "I want to tell you, I really do, but…it's not my secret. I will tell you, I just want to make sure he's ok with it first. Can you forgive me?" He looked at her with longing eyes and Lily stared into them. She bit her lip.

"Have you cheated on me?" She asked quietly.

"No, of course not."

"This secret, does it have anything to do with me, us, or our relationship?"

"No. It has to do with me and-" he stopped himself "Me and someone else, but it plays a pretty big part of my life and I want you to understand it."

"Then, ok. I'll forgive you. You can tell me when you and whomever else it is are ready." She kissed him on the cheek and he smiled at her. "But I probably should be getting home. I promised mum I'd be back by one." She looked at her watch and saw it was already half twelve.

"You could stay here if you wanted." He suggested.

"My parents would never let me spend the night with my boyfriend."

"They do realise we live at Hogwarts and could spend the night together any time we wanted." He laughed and Lily shrugged her shoulders.

"Whatever. I live by their rules when I'm home, and they're pretty strict."

"Come on, let's get you back then. Wouldn't want the Evans to hate me!" He joked. The party seemed to be breaking up in the house anyway and a few people were using the fireplace's floo network to get back home. James followed Lily through the fireplace and then walked her back home.

They walked hand-in-hand and watched as fireworks flew through the sky and exploded in beautiful colours, it looked a lot like magic – or the best that muggles could manage. It made the dark sky look even more beautiful than it usually did when it was just filled with stars.

"I'll see you on the platform on Sunday, that's only three days away, but please write to me as much as you want. I'll try to send Scrawl to you tomorrow and you can keep him or send him back to me and I'll see you at 9 ¾." He kissed her on the forehead and she went inside where her parents were sat together on the couch.

"Happy New year!" The three of them cheered at the same time and exchanged hugs and kisses before they all headed up to bed.

After a few more awkward days at home between Lily, her sister and her fiancée, Lily was more than ready to go back to school where she could be herself and considered normal enough to have an actual conversation with. As much as she loved her family, she missed her friends, teachers and lessons, everything that made her world even more magical than it already was as a witch. But Sunday finally arrived and Lily was packed and ready to go. Her parents dropped her off at the local train station at seven in the morning and two hours later she was at King's Cross. James was waiting for her on the other side of the barrier and immediately took her case off her and carried it to the train. Once inside of the scarlet steam engine, the pair walked down to a cabin at the far end where the rest of James' friends were waiting for them.

"How was everyone's Christmases?" Lily asked the group as she sat down.

"Decent." Remus started. "My parents had another argument but at least it wasn't on Christmas day this year." He tried to laugh it off and Lily moved to speak; to find out what was going on, but James elbowed her and spoke instead.

"New Year was epic though." He commented. "Best one yet. You were so drunk, Padfoot!"

"Yeah, so glad we convinced your mum to let us drink this year, made it so much better."

"I didn't have a drop." James said proudly. "Spent my last moments of that year and my first moments of this one with my best girl." He winked at Lily who blushed slightly. "It's how I want to spend my whole life from now on."

"Let me get this straight. Your new year's resolution, Prongs, is to spend more time with your girlfriend." Sirius asked, James nodded and he sighed.

The beginning of term feast was just as amazing as it always was and the group chatted and ate for an hour before finally heading up to bed. Lily missed her parents and even her sister but she knew for a fact that this was her true home so she couldn't be homesick. She never could be homesick again because her home wasn't where her parents lived, or even Hogwarts where she had spent ten months out of the year for 5 and a half years, but with James and his friends. Where she could be herself and still be happy and accepted. She smiled and went to sleep easily.

 **Sorry for the wait and I know this chapter isn't the best but I prefer them at school and this is really just a transition so I'll see you next time with *hopefully* a better and longer chapter** **\- Chescaannie xx**


	12. Chapter 12

The first week of term passed in a blur of cold snows that surrounded the warmth of the fireplace top of the tallest tower where Lily spent most nights in the arms of James and surrounded by his friends (to whom she was becoming increasingly close). Lily spent the entirety of every potions lesson with Remus and a strong friendship was blossoming between the pair among the charred cauldrons and dark walls of the dungeons. Lily loved her new-found friendships but didn't realise how important it was to the others – especially Remus – until one day after potions.

They had a free lesson afterwards and Lily assumed they would head up to the common room to meet James, Sirius, and Peter (where they had been meeting instead of outside due to the freezing temperatures that had hit them over the past month). Instead, however, Remus asked Lily to go outside with him so they could talk. Lily tentatively agreed and followed him outside and into the bitter wind. They found a secluded spot near to the whomping willow where no one ever went.

"Lily," He started, he seemed extremely nervous. "We've become good friends these past few months wouldn't you say?" He looked cautiously over at Lily – as if she would say no!

"Great friends, Remus. I would say best but I fear you already have enough of them!" Lily laughed. Remus tried to smile back but the tension in his face forced it into a thin line as beads of sweat appeared on his forehead despite the foot of snow surrounding them.

"I have room for one more I think. Especially someone like you, Lily, who has been nothing but nice to me since we met on the train over five years ago," He paused, summoning strength to continue. "But there's something you need to know first. Something that only James, Sirius, Peter - and a few others that have to – know. James says that you'll be able to handle it and I think that the face that you were raised a muggle might mean that you also weren't brought up with the prejudice that so many pure-bloods are. But…if you no longer want to be my friend I will understand, although I would appreciate it if you would not tell anyone – for old times' sake?" He took another breath and closed his eyes. "Lily, I'm a were-wolf." He said it quickly, as if this made it easier.

Lily was stunned. She said nothing but stared at him in shock. Lily considered it all for a moment before realising the most important thing: how much Remus must trust her to tell her this. She realised how much this affliction must have affected this incredibly timid boy. Lily took a single step towards him and threw her arms around his neck. Remus seemed stunned for a split second before returning the hug and Lily could have sworn she felt a single tiny tear fall from his face onto her skin.

"Thank you." He breathed as they released one another. "I'd best get you back to James before he kills me." He laughed as the two of them walked back up towards the castle. "He'll be glad I told you, and even more glad – but not surprised – that you're ok with it all."

They found the boys sat around the fire, James was especially nervous and looked up as they walked in. He noticed the closeness of their walk and the smiles on both faces and his face lit up too. He jumped out of his chair before Lily reached them and grabbed her hand to lead her back out of the door she just came through.

"I'm going to be so fit if everyone's going to drag me down seven flights of stairs and back up again." Lily moaned as she once again was taken out into the freezing cold outside world. "I didn't even have time to grab a coat." But James wasn't listening, his focus was on the spot by the tree where she had just been.

"Remus told you, didn't he?" He demanded and Lily nodded in reply. James looked anxious, as if there was something very serious on his mind.

"There's another secret that you need to know before you can truly know everything. It's what I wanted to tell you at New Year but couldn't because it has a lot to do with Remus." He glanced around the area which was still deserted as most students had lessons and those who didn't were staying away from the chill in the warm rooms of the castle. The pair were round the back of the tree and so couldn't see any of the windows, but James still seemed worried someone would see them. He took a step back. Then another. And another. He crouched down onto the ground and grew.

Lily blinked several times to convince herself that this was really happening; that it wasn't just a trick of the light. But, every time she opened her eyes, James looked more and more like an animal. A Horse? She wondered but soon corrected herself as an impressive pair of antlers began to protrude out of his skull.

Lily looked at him, confusion on her face as she stared into the eyes of a stag. It took her a moment to piece everything together. Remus was a werewolf. James was an Animagius. James said he would have told her his secret if it hadn't been so closely linked to Remus'. So why had a notoriously work-shy sixteen-year-old boy decided to use incredibly complex magic - that most fully-fledged witches and wizards were unable to do - in order to become a stag. And then keep it a secret. It must be to help Remus with his monthly terrors.

"Can Peter and Sirius turn into animals too?" She asked. James – the stag – nodded. "Is it to keep Remus company every month?" again, he nodded. "James! You are probably the sweetest person on the planet! You would do all this for your friend? Wow. I would kiss you but…you're a deer, and that would be weird." But James nuzzled into her, his soft fuzz between her fingers and her chest.

"Can you turn back into human James now?" She asked after a moment. "I'm cold, some of us don't have a fur coat!" James took a step backwards and soon stepped forwards again as the human boy.

"I love you, James. I can't believe how much you would all do for your friend." Lily embraced him. James slipped his arms around her waist and held her closer, her head resting on his shoulder.

"I love you, too." He said into her hair. "And I'm glad that you're ok with it, with everything. I know it's all a little crazy, but my friends are like my family."

"Life's crazy, James. If you can handle my family – especially my sister – then I can handle four people who I actually like and their drama. I promise that I will always be there for your drama if you are always there for mine."

"Just try and keep me away." James muttered against her lips before kissing her passionately. After a moment, Lily pulled away.

"Ok. Can I go inside and stay there, or do I have to speak to Sirius next?" She asked jokingly. James laughed and threw an arm around her shoulder as they walked back towards the warmth of the castle.

"Y'know, we have ten minutes before transfiguration." James winked, Lily smiled.

"Yep. Just the right amount of time to grab my books and head down to McGonagall's lesson." She laughed.

"I don't care as long as I'm with you." James said and the pair went off to finish their school day.

 **This is a little bit of a shorter chapter than I was hoping but I feel like a lot has happened and I quite enjoyed writing it – I hope you enjoyed reading it as much. Please review – they make my day – and have a great holiday season – chescaannie xx**


	13. Chapter 13

After discovering the marauder's biggest secret, Lily felt that she understood all four of the boys better as well as the friendship that kept them together. In fact, she saw each of them in a different way than she once had.

Remus had always seemed kind but very tense and nervous, now that Lily knew the truth she saw that this was strength as he feared people finding out about his secrets but carried on despite this. Peter was similar, always seeming timid and shy and – whilst there was nothing wrong with this – was unlike the others who were more boisterous and outgoing. Peter now, however, seemed quietly strong and was glued to his friends by this big secret; he was no more of an outsider to the group than Lily was as he helped his friends as much as any of the others did.

Then there was the other end of the scale: Sirius and James. Both were loud and confident but getting to know them better, especially James, had shown Lily that there was a lot more to them that met the eye. James' loud confidence was a cover for his secret fears he kept deep inside, Lily was trying her best to learn them all but so far only knew his biggest one: that his friends (or Lily herself) would leave him. Sirius had lost his family. He used his outward confidence to hide the fact that he was lonely inside. James was like his brother but Lily couldn't imagine not talking to a single member of her family (even Petunia) never mind the whole lot. A late-night revelation from him when no one else was around told her more about him than she ever thought possible: as much as he hated his family and their ways, he loved and missed them too. He secretly wished that one of them would reach out, even his younger brother Regulus who had barely said two words to him at school since he was sorted into Slytherin.

That's what's strange about getting to know people, Lily found, you learn things about them that you never even realised you didn't know about them. She had greatly enjoyed getting to know her new friends and was glad of their friendship and support as they learned things about her too; about her sister and their family dynamic. No one was quite sure how it had happened but Lily had even begun to use their Marauder nicknames instead of their actual names as she came to realise their true meaning and the irony of using names that came from a secret out in the open. How she hadn't figured out that 'Moony' was a werewolf she wasn't sure – just not what you'd expect to find out she supposed. Anyway, Lily had been raised a muggle and hadn't believed in werewolves until one of her friends told her in third year that they really do exist. One of the lads probably overheard that conversation and laughed about it.

Lily had realised how much they all wanted – and needed – her friendship but she soon discovered how much she needed theirs when she received a letter one Monday. She recognised the handwriting immediately as her mother's. This was odd as her parents rarely wrote to her, not because they didn't want to keep in touch but because sending post by owl was just an odd thing for them to do and they struggled to manage it. Lily wasn't even sure how they did on these rare occasions!

 _Dear Lily,_

 _I am writing to you to inform you that I have set a date for my Wedding in early May. I know you will still be in school at this point and am not expecting you to come but mother told me I should tell you so that you are not shocked to find out when you next come home._

 _Petunia._

Of course Petunia would not even write the envelope with the word Hogwarts on it, so it was no real surprise that the letter and the envelope had different handwriting. What was surprising was that Petunia didn't seem to even _want_ Lily to come. They grew up together and Lily remembered fondly of them planning their weddings to imaginary people in a little church surrounded by only their close friends and family. The most important thing to either of the girls was that the other would be their Bride's maid – or Maid-of-Honour once they understood this. This went back to before Hogwarts, when they were just two little girls, best friends who happened to be sisters.

Lily felt tears pricking the back of her eyes at all of these thoughts together and so excused herself and ran out of the hall – not wanting to break down in front of everyone. On her way to the Gryffindor common room, however, she came across a group of Pure-blooded Slytherins on their way up from the dungeons. She banged into them and dropped the letter that had caused her so much pain. She muttered her apologies to them but as she knelt to pick it up she heard one of them mutter 'stupid mudblood' which upset her even more.

The common room was empty when she finally reached it and so she took her favourite seat by the window and stared out across the wild mountains that surrounded the castle on all sides. They always reminded her of the mountains in the Peak District where her family had always gone on walks during the summer months. Lily used to imagine that they were the same ones – although they were hundreds of miles away – as she remembered particularly nice treks through the hills.

Today, however, the sight of the hills and mountains made the tears that had been threatening to come, come pouring down as she remembered when she and her sister would have fun walking together and chatting about things. Even the first two years of Lily being at Hogwarts, Petunia had managed to enjoy having her sister back for almost two months.

Lily was so caught up in her hurt and her little world that she didn't hear any footsteps or the door opening, but she felt a hand on her shoulder suddenly and looked around to see James' brown eyes looking straight at her. Without even thinking, she curled into him and put her head on his shoulder and continued her sobs.

"What's wrong?" He asked, rubbing her back as an attempt to comfort her. Lily said nothing but held out the letter for him to read, which only took him a moment. Instead of saying anything else, James held Lily in the tight embrace for a few minutes before deciding he had to break the silence.

"We have a Charms lesson in about five minutes." He spoke softly, as if he was trying not to wake a sleeping child. "I don't mind not going if you don't feel up to it but I know what you're like about school work." Lily laughed a little.

"Well one of us has to, or else neither of us will have a job, then how will we live?" Lily joked. James stared at her and it took Lily a moment to realise why. They had never really talked about what would happen with them after school or the future. James wasn't commitment-phobic or anything, but it seemed so far away, life after Hogwarts, that neither of them had managed to broach the subject at all, until now. "I-I mean…" she stammered but was silenced by a kiss from James.

"Come along then, Miss Bread-winner." He joked as he pulled her up from the seat. "We need to get you to lesson. Get lots of lovely Os so that I never have to lift a finger."

"Hey, you're pulling your weight, ok. I want that house spick and span every day before I get home from work." She warned in a mocking tone. For a moment, all thoughts of her sister and mud-bloods were gone from Lily's mind as she came to love where she was and who she was with right now. Petunia might not want Lily right now, but Lily didn't need her either because she had a group of friends at school who she would never have expected to become her confidants but she knew would do anything for her, just like they would any other member of their clan.

The day flew over and before she knew it, Lily was back in the common room, Leaning against James who kept an arm around her waist as they sat in an armchair that was slightly too small for two people and talked to their friends. They discussed their days – even though most of them had been together for the majority of the day – and even what dinner had been (Lily's favourite: beef casserole). They talked about nothing at all and contemplated the universe. Sirius said it had to be created because beauty like his didn't happen by accident – although the boys agreed that an hour in front of the mirror every morning can hardly be seen as an accident.

"Are you OK, Lily? You seemed pretty upset this morning." Sirius asked, despite James' angry look. Lily sighed, they had told her some pretty serious and deep stuff, the least she could do would be to tell them of her family dynamic.

"My sister's getting married to a complete arsehole and I'm not even invited to the wedding." She was fed up, not upset any more. Saying it now with her friends it seemed utterly ridiculous.

"Why?" Peter asked her.

"Because I'm a witch – despite what you-know-who and his followers think."

"I'm sorry." Sirius said. It was sincere and Lily knew that he felt responsible for it because it was the same as his family's views – as much as he disagreed. Lily shrugged.

"As long as I have you lot who needs Petunia and stupid Vernon Dursley." She put out her arm and patted Sirius on the knee. "Right, come on you lot. It's time for bed." Lily decided after looking at her watch and seeing it tick past eleven o' clock. Sirius, Remus and Peter went off to bed but James stayed for an extra moment and kissed her hard.

"I love you, my muggle-born witch." He whispered into her ear. "You are perfect just the way you are and don't let anyone tell you different, ok?" He grabbed both of her shoulders and looked deep into her eyes until she smiled and nodded then he let her go and they separated to go up to bed.

 **Quite a short and fluffy chapter, I know, but just wanted to write it (and let's be honest, most of the chapters of this fic seem quite fluffy). Hope you enjoyed it, regardless, and I'll hopefully be back again soon. Please leave me a review in the meantime and let me know what you think of this chapter and anything you might like to see in future chapters. – Chescaannie xx**


	14. Chapter 14

Lily loved her new friendships with the marauders, she always had someone to talk to that she knew would treat her like they had been friends for years. The fact she knew all their secrets, and they knew all hers, strengthened her relationship with James and the two were bonded together more than either had been bonded to anyone before – much to James' delight. Lily felt like she belonged for the first time since she had fallen out with Severus. Speaking of whom, he was still apologising every time he saw her (unless James was with her) and she was choosing to simply ignore him, especially when he had just left his friends who were bullying first year muggle-borns.

Within a few months, she had figured out the schedule of what to do and when. She knew when the next full moon would be without even looking at her charts (something that helped her a lot in Astronomy). When the full moon appeared, she helped to care for Remus as he began to get sick on the day of and was ill sometimes for a few days after, depending on how bad it had been. When he was unable to come to class, she made sure to take enough notes for the both of them and pick up any homework before hand-delivering it to him in bed.

"Moony?" She asked as she knocked on the door to their dormitory. Whilst boys couldn't even go up the stairs to the girls' dormitory, it was well known that the same was not true and so Lily could walk up easily. Remus grunted in reply and she walked in to where he was laid underneath his duvet and a few blankets. "I've brought your notes and homework. I'll leave them on your table." She placed them down and walked over to him. "I missed you in potions today, but I know that you'll be back, making better potions than me either tomorrow or the day after." Remus' eyes were barely open but she knew he was listening. "Get some rest." She whispered and left the room again.

She had only just carefully shut the door so that it didn't bang when she heard the voices of James and Sirius as they walked up the stairs towards her.

"Were you in my bedroom?" James asked with a confused smile.

"Just dropping off some notes for Remus." Lily smiled and planted a kiss on James' lips.

"We were just going to check on him now actually. How is he?" Sirius asked. Lily always loved how much they all cared about each other.

"About the same as usual." Lily shrugged. "He didn't speak to me, so he's not really awake, but I don't think he was fully asleep either."

"Well, I'll meet you in the common room in a few minutes then?" James asked and Lily nodded.

"OK, see you there." Then they parted ways and Lily headed back down the stairs to the warm common room.

Now that it was almost Easter, the fire wasn't lit in the fireplace until the evening as the heat was simply not needed. Because of this, the best light in the common room was now by the windows which was where Lily chose to sit. She got out her transfiguration book and began working on her essay for McGonagall about the effects of transfiguring a human being. It was incredibly tedious as there are no adverse effects if the spell is cast correctly but the effects can be anything if done wrong. Suddenly, she couldn't see her book, or her parchment, as everything went dark and she could smell James' aftershave.

"Guess who!" Peter squeaked enthusiastically, happy to be involved in the game.

"Well, Peter spoke but I know that it's James covering my eyes and I'm assuming that Sirius is there too." She stated, hiding the amusement from her voice but she was still smiling. James uncovered her eyes and leant down to kiss her cheek before clambering over the top of the sofa to sit beside her.

"Whatcha doing?" He asked, throwing an arm around her shoulder.

"I'm working on my transfiguration essay but it's more boring than the last one." Lily said. She put down her things and turned to lean back into James. Sirius was sat on his other side and Peter sat opposite them.

"I'm sure you'll do it and get top marks like always."

"Oh, I'll do it. I just don't want to. What are you guys up to today?" She asked.

"Well, we have to go to lessons soon, and we have to get ready for tonight – some of us can't stay up late to finish our homework!" Sirius fake complained.

"If you're hinting that I should do it, Black, then you're sadly mistaken. You guys are better at transfiguration than me and I'm not writing one essay five times." She sighed, knowing she was going to give in a little. "I'll finish mine after dinner, you can sit with me and we can do them together."

They sat and chatted for a while but all too soon, it was time for charms – which was something they all had together – and before they knew it, Lily had forced the boys up to the common room for a couple of hours to work on their essays before they grabbed a bite to eat and headed out to look after Remus. Lily kissed James goodbye and sent her love before they headed off into the darkening grounds. Whilst Lily wanted to go with them, she knew that she would be useless and just be in danger if she tried.

Instead, Lily trudged back up the stairs to the common room and looked over her essay one last time. Whilst it wasn't her best attempt, she was pretty sure that it would at least pass. Bored, and a little lonely, Lily decided just to go straight to bed where she found an owl sitting on her bed. She instantly recognised it as one of the school birds and was confused as to who could be writing to her considering everyone that she knew either had no idea how to use owls, or lived at Hogwarts. Lily took the letter from the bird which had EMERGENCY written in large red letters on its front but took the letter from the bird which instantly flew off.

Her hands shook as she tore open the envelope and pulled the letter out of it.

 _Lily darling,_

 _I'm afraid I have very bad news. Your father had a heart attack and died last night. The funeral is next Thursday. I hope you can make it and I hope you get this letter._

 _All our love, hope to hear from you soon,_

 _Mum x_

Lily's whole body shook as she read the letter three or four times to make sure she had understood. She felt the sobs move her whole body and she collapsed onto the bed, dropping the letter which fell to the floor.

 **Yay! New chapter! I know this one is pretty short for this fic but I thought that it would be better to split it here and get the next chapter up quicker. Sorry for my disappearance, I will try to do better! Hope you enjoyed this chapter and I will try to update my other stories ASAP but please leave me a review and let me know what you thought of this chapter and anything you might want to happen.**


	15. Chapter 15

Lily was numb. She couldn't feel anything. How could this have happened? Her father was still young, well, too young for this to have happened anyway. There was nothing she could do, she couldn't even get out of the castle to send her reply until morning and yet she couldn't sleep. How could she when she knew she would never see her father again, when she didn't even get to say goodbye. But she didn't cry. Why, she wasn't sure. Perhaps the shock had stopped her from being able to do so or maybe there was something wrong with her but she didn't.

She buried herself beneath the blankets of her bed and laid there trying to get some sleep until she was sure that the other girls were fully asleep before she crept out, down the stairs and to the common room where she paused. It was quieter than it had been when she'd gone up to bed, but there were still a few people sat on the chairs, talking. Lily could feel the breakdown that she'd been holding back coming and didn't feel like doing it in front of the fifth years who were studying for their exams, so she snuck out.

Lily had spent enough time with the marauders that she knew most of the more secretive routes around the castle so that she wouldn't get caught by Filch or, worse, Mrs Norris. She knew that if she walked out of the common room and straight down the stairs, she would come to the painting of the Hogwarts grounds at night, and behind it was a small staircase that led up to the astronomy tower, which Lily knew would be deserted today as there were no lessons.

Up at the top of the tower, Lily moved out onto the balcony where they would normally set up their telescopes and leaned against the cold brick wall of the tower. Whilst it wasn't warm, it wasn't too cold either (although Lily really wished she'd brought a blanket when the wind began whipping her long hair around her face). Tears began falling down Lily's face and once they started, they didn't stop. It didn't feel real. How could her father be in a different world entirely from her? How could he not be the one that would pick her up when she went home for the summer? Would home still feel like home without him there?

Lily pulled her knees into her chest and wrapped her arms around them and burying her head between them. _Maybe I'll wake up and this will all have been a dream_ , she thought, _all just some horrible dream_. Alas, there's no waking from reality so, try as she might, she couldn't do it. There was no way to erase that letter that was under her pillow, just a few floors below. There was no bringing her father back to life.

She wasn't sure how long she sat there, or if she'd fallen asleep, but the next time she opened her eyes, the sun was just beginning to rise, putting a faint amber glow over the landscape. She stood up, her swollen eyes hurting a little, and looked over the brick wall that surrounded the tower. The grounds were deserted, as they should be that early in the morning. Lily had hoped to see James, Sirius, and Peter coming up the hill back to the castle but it was no surprise that she couldn't see them. They were probably back at the tower now, and if not then they would be under the invisibility cloak.

"Lily?" She jumped and turned at the sound of her boyfriend's voice, concern was spread all over his face. Without even thinking about it, she fell into his arms and began sobbing. "What's wrong? What are you doing up here?"

"It. It's my dad." She sobbed, "he died yesterday, my mum sent me a letter last night." James held her tighter.

"Lil. I'm so sorry. Is there anything I can do?" She shook her head.

"Will you just sit with me for a while?" She looked up into his eyes and he smiled sadly.

"Of course." And he did. The pair sat out on the balcony of the Astronomy tower for hours, watching as the sun rose higher in the sky. They said nothing – there was nothing to be said – they just sat in silence, both happy just to be together.

Lily's head was on James' chest and her eyes slowly fluttered shut. James smiled as he looked down at her, asleep in his arms. He knew that any sleep she would have gotten the night before wouldn't have been very good, nor likely for very long, so he was glad that she was relaxed enough with him to sleep. It seemed crazy to him that less than a year ago she could barely stand to be in the same room with him for more than a few minutes. They say that there's a thin line between love and hate, apparently that was true for Lily's relationship with James. He hoped it would never go the other way, but it was different for James. He hadn't walked that fine line, never had he hated Lily. Sure, there'd been times when he was angry, upset, or cross with her, but he'd never even disliked her.

James said nothing when he looked at his watch to see that first lesson was starting. Lily wasn't in the right state of mind to go to lesson, and no one would think it odd that he hadn't gone – especially since chances were that Sirius, Peter and Remus wouldn't be going either. In fact, he found himself slowly falling asleep beside her, and covered them in the invisibility cloak to keep them warm and free from interruption.

By the time they opened their eyes again, the sun was high in the sky, basking the scenery and the couple in a warm yellow glow. James felt Lily stir beside him as the pair woke up together.

"What time is it?" She asked sleepily. James looked at his watch.

"Just gone twelve, shall we go down for some lunch?" He asked.

"I can't believe I slept through all of my morning lessons. If we go and get some lunch now then we can make it to Charms this afternoon and I'll go see my teachers before dinner." She stood up, taking the cloak off them and shook it out. She handed it back to James as he stood beside her, all folded neatly for James to put back in his bag.

"Do you actually think you could have handled lessons this morning? And can you handle them now?" James asked her, throwing an arm around her shoulders. Lily shrugged.

"I don't know. I feel a little better now, numb, but still." Lily turned into his embrace and placed her hands on his neck. "Thank you for looking out for me, you're always there when I need you, even when I think I've hidden." She said softly against his lips before kissing them lightly. "I love you so much."

"I love you more, Lily. And I will always find you, even if you think you have concealed yourself from everyone forever… you'll find me right beside you." He kissed her again, long and deep. She could almost feel his love leave his soul and enter her own.

"If I find a way, will you come with me to the funeral next week?" Lily asked, though it was pointless, they both already knew the answer to the question.

"Of course. And if you can't find a way then I will get you there, even if it means flying all the way on my broomstick." He smiled and wiped away the few tears that had crept out of Lily's eyes. "Come on." He said, taking her hand. "I bet lunch is good today."

 **I know! I'm sorry! It's another short-ish chapter after far too long! But, the good news is, that I've finished my university course for the year! I have a placement after Easter but I will do my best to update ALL of my stories as much as possible. Hope you enjoyed this chapter – please drop me a review either way and let me know what you want/hate – and I'll see you all next time – chescaannie xx**


	16. Chapter 16

Lily was up at five o' clock in the morning. When James had asked her to do this a couple of days before, it had seemed like an impossible feat, but when she lay in her bed the night before, she had found sleep an impossible task, so getting up was easy. She crept out of bed and toward the bathroom to dress, not daring to turn on the lights in case it woke up one of the other girls.

It was the first time Lily had ever snuck out of the school. In some ways, she wished she wasn't doing it now, but she had to. How could she not go to her own father's funeral? Maybe she should have asked for permission from Dumbledore or McGonagall, but what if they had said no? What if they had reminded her of her looming deadlines, it might have been unlikely, but it was possible and it was not a risk Lily was willing to take. As well, telling them would mean admitting that she had a funeral to go to and she was doing her best to keep her family out of the gossip – especially as her muggle heritage was becoming very hated by certain people and she couldn't face them knowing about this. Of course, people might notice her disappearance from classes today, but they would just assume she was with James somewhere in the castle. They would never assume that they had snuck out, not prefect Lily Evans.

"James?" She whispered into the darkness of the common room. "Are you there?" There was no answer so Lily made her way over to the door; hiding slightly behind the notice board in case anyone else came down but making sure she could still see the stairs towards the boys' dormitory for when James finally appeared.

"Lily?" He asked. His voice was more confident than hers had been but was still only a little louder than a whisper.

"I'm by the door." She whispered back and soon James was behind her. He gave her a quick hug and kissed her on her forehead before removing the invisibility cloak from his bag and throwing it over the pair of them. He then took out a piece of parchment and used his wand to make the labelled map appear on it.

"Shall we be off?" He asked. Lily nodded and stood just in front of him so that they could both see the map as they navigated the corridors and back stairs, staying as far away from Filch and any other patrolling teachers as they could.

Less than ten minutes had passed before they were out in the lush grass of the Hogwarts grounds. It was cold, but bearable outside – although James still hugged her a little closer to keep them that little bit warmer – as they walked silently towards the quidditch pitch where the sun was just rising. Once there, the pair shed the cloak for a moment and James went off to pick up his broomstick from the cupboard at the back. When he returned, the pair mounted the broomstick, Lily's arms around James' waist as she clung on tight to him. James then took the cloak and covered them and the broomstick again, they would be able to take it off when they were a few miles from school, when they could be mistaken for any couple, but someone might notice them flying when they were still within the school grounds.

They flew in silence as they covered the few hundred miles back towards Cokeworth, flying over the mountains and rivers which glistened in the new day's sun. Whilst they had thought they would take the cloak off when they were far enough from the school, they decided not to bother when they realised that shedding the invisibility cloak would mean that muggles, however unobservant they may be, would be able to see them – and then they would be in even more trouble.

Finally, they landed in the middle of the woods around Lily's town and got off, both of their legs wobbling a little after the long flight.

"Thank you, James. Thank you so much." Lily whispered, throwing her arms around his neck. "I don't know what I would do without you." James tightened his arms around her waist and kissed her neck.

"I love you, Lily Evans and I would do anything for you, you know that, don't you?" Lily nodded.

"Of course, I love you, too. And any time you need anything… well, I'm not as good at sneaking around castles or breaking school rules, but I'll do my best." James laughed and took her hand in his, his broom in the other hand and the cloak carefully folded back into his bag.

"Come on, let's find a place to stash this and then let's go find your mum."

They hid the broomstick inside of a hollow tree and James used a stick to mark the floor to remind him where it was (although Lily promised she knew the woods so well that there was no chance of them losing it). They then walked along the dirt path, the leaves from last autumn still covering the floor with another layer of brown in some places, and found themselves on the edge of Lily's street fairly easily. This was when Lily stopped dead in her tracks and stared, tears welling in her eyes.

"I can't do it." She whispered. "I can't go in there when I know that my dad won't be waiting to hug me and welcome me home with a smile on his face." She breathed for a moment. "This was a mistake, come on, let's go back."

"Lily, I know it's hard. But… if you don't go then you'll regret it for the rest of your life. I'm right here by your side, we'll get through it together, ok? And we'll leave as soon as you need to, I promise." He squeezed her hand and Lily smiled in reply. She forced her feet forwards and knocked on her front door. It was a strange thing to do, since she lived there, but she didn't want to give her mother too much of a fright when she wasn't expecting her. After a moment, the door opened.

"Yes?" Her mother said without really looking at who it was. She was still wearing her dressing gown and her hair was in a towel, but she looked like she had slept about as well as Lily had. When she looked again at who was at her door at nine o' clock in the morning, her face lit up. "Lily?" She beamed and embraced her daughter. "I thought you said you weren't sure if you could get out of school? Why didn't you tell me you were coming?" Lily shrugged.

"I wasn't sure if we'd make it and I didn't want to get your hopes up and then I couldn't make it." Lily was released from the hug and Mrs Evans pulled James in for one instead.

"Thank you." She whispered into James' ear before pulling away. "Come in, come in." She opened the door wider to allow them both into the warm house.

The Living room was just like it always had been although the house felt emptier, and missing some of its warmth, Lily thought as she and James sat down on one of the old, over-stuffed couches. On the coffee table in front of them were a few plates with sandwiches covered in cling-film and a sponge cake that were for the wake that afternoon. On the wall was a picture from a holiday that the Evans had taken several years ago, before Lily had even gotten into Hogwarts. Little blonde Petunia sat next to ginger Lily on a bench, both smiling madly, and their parents stood proudly behind them. Lily remembered that day, the sun had been shining on the lake where they'd gone for a walk and they'd stopped for a moment to enjoy the view. Her father had asked a passer-by to take a picture of them all together before his two children got too big. Lily met Severus a month later and got her letter two months inviting her to Hogwarts two months after that, her sister had never sat beside her and smiled like that since.

Lily popped upstairs to get changed into a black dress that she had in her wardrobe – obviously, she hadn't taken anything that sombre to Hogwarts – and came back to find James and her mother having a chat over a cup of tea each. She smiled at them getting along so well, something that her mother and Vernon had never achieved. At some point, James had changed into a respectful suit with a tie. It was strange to see him dressed up like that, at school his tie was rarely done up properly and his shirt was never tucked into his trousers. Lily smiled, she loved this side of him that she'd only seen in the past few months. Yes, he was an obnoxious prick sometimes, but he also knew when he had to be mature and respectful; he knew when Lily needed him to be fun and light-hearted and make her laugh, and when she needed him to be a shoulder for him to cry on. She liked to think that she could do the same for him, but he needed a shoulder to cry on much less often than she seemed to.

An hour and a half later, the three of them drove down to the church where Lily's father was to be buried. Mrs Evans thanked them both so much for coming as she didn't think she could cope going down there on her own and Petunia had decided to make her own way there. Once at the church, James went and sat at the front near to Vernon who stiffened significantly as James greeted him warmly, and Lily, Petunia, and their mother stood by the doors, greeting all those who had come to the service before joining their partners in the front pew.

They all cried, except Vernon, Lily even caught James wiping away a tear as he said goodbye to the man he'd only met the once but had heard so much about from Lily that he felt like he knew him well. After the service, a lot of people from the church went back to the Evans' house to pay their last respects in a different way. They all spoke to Lily, as well, asking her about school and how she was coping with everything, but Lily just nodded and faked a smile. She could hardly get into the politics of the Wizarding world at her father's wake!

The pair were one of the first to leave, as well, as they needed to get back to Hogwarts before any of the teachers came looking for them. After they had both changed back into their uniforms, Lily hugged her mother and James went in for a handshake but was pulled into a hug before he could escape. They said goodbye to Petunia who hugged Lily, for some reason, and promised that she would try to write more often before returning to a glaring Vernon who grabbed Petunia by the shoulders as she returned and steered her towards some other people that he probably didn't know.

The broomstick was right where they left it in the woods and they easily navigated the slowly darkening skies in silence, back North to the castle in the mountains. They landed in Hogsmede and once again, covered themselves and the broomstick in the cloak before slowly walking towards Honeyduke's where James knew of a secret passage back into the castle. They used the map as they neared the opening of the passage and found that there was a group of first years standing nearby.

Lily took this as an opportunity to thank James properly for all he had done for her that day. She slipped her hand into his and pulled him back slightly so that his hands were on her waist and hers were around his neck.

"Thank you." She breathed before firmly pressing her lips against his; using them to open James slightly and pulling him closer into her. James reciprocated tightened his grip on Lily's hips, pushing her back slightly into the wall.

"I love you Lil, I love you more than anything in this world." He whispered into her neck and Lily moaned slightly.

"I love you, too, and I promise I always will." She smiled, combing her fingers through his hair that had been brushed and gelled a little for the funeral.

A few minutes later, they checked the map again and the gaggle of first-years had moved on towards the hall for dinner. James spotted Sirius, Remus, and Peter in Gryffindor Tower so they made their way towards them and then back down for dinner. Of course, they all knew where James and Lily had been – obvious as they helped to formulate the plan of exit and entry as well as covering for them in lessons – but none of them said a word in such a public place. Even in the common room later on, Sirius asked how it was (referring to the funeral as an 'it' rather than mentioning the actual words) and Lily merely smiled sadly and said that it was fine and thanked them all for their help.

By the time Lily went to bed that night, at what would usually be a normal time, she was so exhausted that she merely collapsed onto her bed after changing into her pyjamas and slept soundly until she was woken by the brightness of the next morning as the sunlight burst through the clouds of the overcast sky. It was a strange metaphor, Lily thought, as it described just how she was feeling. She was sad, of course, and would probably never 'get over' her father's death, but she knew that she had enough sunshine in her life that she could get through it; survive it, and that the sun would once again come out in her life.

 **Now that's more like it! That was actually a good length chapter! Hope you enjoyed it, please drop me a review either way so that I can improve and I will be back next time. Lots of love – chescaannie xx**


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